Hard To See (Gawsten)

seventeen

Geoff has never thought of himself as soft, but here he is.

Awsten is sitting on the couch in front of him, and every time the blond boy catches his eye, he can feel himself blush or smile. Usually both. Otto keeps smirking at him from the kitchen, and Jawn keeps rolling his eyes at the curly-haired boy.

Geoff figures they definitely saw him and Awsten together in the bedroom yesterday. That should be embarrassing, but he can't bring himself to regret it.

Awsten was quiet for the rest of the day yesterday. Once Jawn's post-anxiety rambling stopped, so did everything. When they all first arrived at Otto's house, everyone was busy helping Awsten and preparing for the aftermath of everything. Then, once Kellin left, Awsten woke up, and everything was arranged, a solemn quietness invaded the basement apartment. The quiet after the storm.

Today, however, is different. It feels like the day after a bloody war that ended in a tie. The enemies didn't win, and that's good, but the war still happened. People got hurt. Some died.

Awsten hasn't spoken since he thanked Geoff.

He gave both Otto and Jawn tight hugs when he and the brunet emerged from the bedroom last night, and he sent Kellin a long 'thank you' text this morning, but he has yet to say anything. Geoff is worried. So are Jawn and Otto.

The three others are giving the blond boy time to cope, and to get over the shock of what happened. Maybe then he'll speak.

"Awsie, you want a fried egg sandwich?" Jawn asks from the kitchen, and Awsten quickly shakes his head. He doesn't like fried eggs.

"How about a ham one?" Otto asks, peering into the newly-stocked refrigerator. Awsten nods and gets up to help with lunch.

It's Saturday, and there's an unspoken agreement that this is where everyone will be spending the weekend. Geoff, Otto, and Jawn have been friends for so long that these things don't need much arrangement, but they can only hope that Awsten got the memo.

Surely he doesn't want to go home, right?

If he does, he doesn't show it. He helps make sandwiches for lunch quietly, and sits down with the others to eat in the joined living room.

Awsten knows he needs to go home. His mom is gonna kill him, but he can't go back. Maybe she'll come find him instead, tell him that she kicked his dad to the curb, promise that there won't be any more parties, that she and him can be a little family, and-

"What're you thinkin' about?" Geoff gently leans over and asks, his shoulder brushing the blond boy's.

Awsten hadn't realized he zoned out.

Jawn and Otto suddenly pay more attention to their food, but Geoff can tell they're waiting to see what Awsten does.

Nobody has tried to get Awsten to speak until now. Any questions sent the blond boy's way have been answerable by a simple 'yes' or 'no'. Awsten can't answer this question with a 'yes' or a 'no', meaning he has to speak.

Or he can just shrug, which is what he does.

Geoff goes back to eating, his concern growing by the minute. Before, it was different- Awsten hadn't blatantly refused to speak. Now, he has.

Jawn seems to be concentrating on something, but Geoff decides not to ask. If it's important, he'll hear about it eventually.

***

"And you know who this guy is?" Otto asks.

Jawn nods uncertainly. "Sure."

"You either do, or you don't," Otto replies. This is such a weird thing to do.

"Well, we're in a couple of classes together, and we're neighbors. We've never really spoken, but I remember this project he did in like middle school or something- he knows a lot about the topic. He could help us," the red-haired boy explains, and Otto nods.

"So, to recap- we're going to walk up to this guy's house- a guy who you've never even talked to- and ask him for help with our possibly-mute friend?"

"Yeah!" Jawn says, and leaves the sidewalk, heading for his neighbor's house.

"This is so weird," Otto grumbles. He follows Jawn up the porch steps.

The red-haired boy knocks on the door, then steps back.

A boy with blond hair and stretched earlobes answers the door. "Oh, hi Jawn. What's up?" He's clearly confused as to why the unspoken vow of never becoming friends or talking to each other has suddenly been broken.

"Hey Patty- we need your help."

***

"Do you know why Jawn and Otto left?" Geoff asks Awsten.

The blond boy sleepily shakes his head before nestling it further into the crook of Geoff's neck.

The boys are on the couch, and Awsten is ready for a late afternoon nap, but Geoff is doing everything he can to keep the blond boy awake. Awsten ignores his reasoning about not being able to sleep later tonight, and continues to use the brunet as a pillow.

"C'mon, Awsie- stay awake for me."

Awsten shakes his head again.

"Wanna go get coffee?"

The blond boy perks up instantly, and all but drags Geoff out of the door.

"Alright, alright, slow down!" Geoff laughs out.

The walk to Gaskarth's is calm and cold. Both boys are content with holding hands in an attempt to fight off frostbite, but neither are willing to admit to the other that their cheeks aren't just pink from the cold.

Geoff thinks Awsten's pink cheeks and nose are cute.

The brunet is once again hit with the realization that's he's gone really soft lately. All of his friends are right- he's got it bad. He smiles at the thought.

Gaskarth's is a warm haven of coffee and hot chocolate. The sweet scent of hot chocolate- which is officially in season now- is daring enough to put a dent in the usual wall of coffee-scent.

"How about hot chocolate instead, hm? Your usual coffee is cold, and you need to warm up," Geoff offers, and the blond boy thinks it over for a moment before nodding.

Awsten nudges the brunet toward the counter slightly, and he takes the initiative and orders for both of them. He tries to pay for Awsten's drink, but Awsten all but stomps his foot like a child to convince Geoff that he can pay for his own.

"That was the most feisty thing I've ever seen from you, Awsten," Alex chuckles, referring to the blond boy's playful glares toward Geoff.

Awsten giggles quietly.

Geoff figures that's progress.

...