Hard To See (Gawsten)

twenty-three

Hey!! So sorry this has taken so long! I hope everyone is doing okay!

***

The wind is cold, and Geoff prays that Awsten is somewhere inside. The mental image of the small boy shivering breaks his heart.

He squats down beside Jawn, Otto, and Kellin. The four boys peer over the hedges toward the thumping house.

"The number of parties have increased, I think," Jawn mentions.

Kellin nods. "This place has been lit up every fuckin' night that I've passed it. I'm surprised the neighbors haven't called the cops."

They look at the house for a moment more before hopping over the hedge and dashing across the lawn in a single file line.

Kellin ducks underneath Awsten's bedroom window while the other boys put their backs to the wall beside it. The black-haired boy peeks up, and sighs when he sees the bedroom is empty. "I don't see him."

"Shit, where is he then?" Otto asks, and begins back toward the sidewalk.

"Wait! We should stay here for a minute, he could just be out of the room," Jawn says as he pulls Otto back against the house.

"Let's give it ten minutes, then we're moving on to plan b," Kellin says as he looks into the room again.

Geoff sighs. "This is plan b."

***

The drive to Alex's apartment is quiet, but it isn't tense- it's somber.

Awsten can tell Alex is tired, and Alex can tell that Awsten is upset. Neither boy is sure how this situation is gonna go.

"I like your hair," Awsten says, trying to break the silence.

"Thanks, I'm gonna dye it pink."

A beat of silence passes before Alex gets an idea. He looks over at the blond boy and his grown-out brown roots. "Y'know, I think we should dye your hair too."

Awsten pauses for a moment. He looks over at the older boy just as he returns his eyes to the road.

"My mom will only let me do natural colors," the blond boy says sadly. He's been wanting to dye his hair a specific color for a long time.

"Not to sound like a bad influence or anything, but you don't live with her anymore."

Awsten thinks for a moment. "You're right, I don't. I've been wanting to dye it for a long time, but I haven't been able to..."

"Then let's go pick up dye tomorrow after school- it'll be fun, and newly dyed hair is a great confidence booster. I think it's just what you need," Alex says, smiling. He knows how to help Awsten, and it all begins with a little bit of confidence.

Awsten smiles a little too. He knew trusting Alex was the right move.

Soon, Alex pulls into the parking building of his apartment complex. "How long are you staying with me? You can stay as long as you need to," he says as he searches for a parking spot.

"Um, well I only planned to stay one night. I don't want to intrude," the blond boy answers shyly.

"Nonesense," Alex responds as he pulls into a spot, "stay the weekend with me. That'll give you some time to figure out what to do."