HER

pt. 28 Goodbye

I don't know how long I sat outside, my face in my hands, crying.

But I finally composed myself before joining the others.

"Josephine! Where did you go?" A very drunk Jimin exclaimed hugging me. "I was so worried you had left." He rubbed his face against mine.

I smiled, patting his back.

Yoongi peeled him off of me, draping Jimin's arm over his shoulder. His cheeks were flushed as well.
"I need to get us --him-- in bed." He laughed. Jimin tickled his chin.
"How forward of you, Min Yoongi." He giggled.

I offered to get them a taxi, but Yoongi said something about beds upstairs and disappeared with his lover.

Hoseok, with his face bright red from drinking, was sitting in a karaoke booth asleep with a passed out Melissa laying on his lap.
I peeked further into the booth and saw that Namjoon and Kia were in a similar position on the other side.

I approached Jungkook and Taehyung at an arcade game that involved hitting some sort of boxing bag.
They were both intoxicated as well, laughing at the other attempting to hit the bag.

They saw me and their faces lit up.

"Noona, noona, watch this." Jungkook said, excitedly.
He pulled off his hoodie, revealing an incredibly toned torso with defined abs.

My eyes went wide, my face turning red as I looked away.

What is he doing?!

Jungkook started the game and proceeded to do the challenges the game called for.

I'm sure he was a lot better without alcohol in his system but he still managed to get a good score with his clumsy moves.

"I would put your hoodie back on, JK, I think you're making our noona uncomfortable." Taehyung smirked, his hands in his pockets.

Jungkook looked at him confused, before doing as Tae said.

"Go find Seokjin and make sure he's okay. I think the lovebirds in the karaoke booth are sleeping there tonight," Taehyung told him.

Jungkook nodded, still scratching his head as he left.

"I guess everyone is calling it a night." I stated, "Yoongi said there were beds upstairs but I'm okay to drive home now."

Taehyung nodded. "Will you allow me to see you to your car?"

"Of course." I told him.

As we walked to my car, I noticed his cheeks were flushed.

He must handle his booze better than most people... including myself.

When we got to my car, I turned towards him.

"I love you, Jo." He blurted out. He scratched his head embarrassed, looking away, "I mean, I'm in love with you."

He started to tear up, his words becoming choked, "But I don't want to be. You see, my hyung loves you very much. I've tried not to see it, but he's not a very good liar."

He rubbed at his eye, "I tried to pretend I didn't care about his feelings. But I do. I care for him as much as I care about you. I don't want to lose either of you. So, I'm just going to pretend my feelings don't exist."

He managed a smile, "He's a stubborn old man sometimes, and other times he doesn't take things as seriously as he should, but he will love you fiercely, and be the partner you need. He deserves you, Jo."

He hung his head, "I tried to be the man you deserve but I keep failing. I have to accept I'm not ready to deserve you."
He shook his head, "Maybe if my hyung didn't love you, I could have time to be better and be deserving but I guess..."

Tears started to come down his face and my heart shattered.

I embraced him.

What a freaking night...

I had to hold myself back from crying myself. "Tae, you've had a lot to drink. I don't quite understand---"

"You love him." Taehyung interrupted, pulling away and holding on shoulders. He looked me straight into my eyes.

My mouth opened but I couldn't speak.

"You do." He stated, nodding, "I feel like I've always known, even from that night we met. That lunch with that model girl, that confirmed it for me."

I shut my mouth, frowning at him.

He continued, "I wanted you to look at me the way you do at him. But I should know that you can't choose who that happens with."

He gave me a sad smile, "And knowing now for sure that he loves you... I no longer want that. I want happiness for you both." He kissed me gently, his lips wet from his tears.

I held onto him, returning his kiss.

Our kiss was passionate and longing, but I could feel it was a goodbye.

When we pulled away, he held his forehead against mine.

"I wish I would've met you first." He murmured. "But it may have not changed anything anyway."

He kissed my forehead and left.

I sat in my car, staring at my steering wheel.

I never felt more alone in my life.