The Ivy League

The Ivy League Part 12

It was the devil of all devilish Fridays. You know those horrible Fridays, where you're supposed to enjoy them because it's almost the weekend... but you can't... because a lot of nimrods, excuse me, teachers, conspired to make you stay up late and leave school with that awful feeling in your gut that it's going to be an even worse Monday? Yeah, that was my Friday.

I had sat up Thursday night till two, typing an essay for English. The essay's title was "Why Othello Got Screwed Over By His Own Butler." Nice Shakespearean title. Not to mention it hadn't been his butler.

Then I'm pretty sure I made a lot of illegitimate babies between Brad and Angelina during my Math test. Not to mention there were some equations where I really don't know what I did, but I'm pretty sure the number 13 doesn't factor into 1+3. Jake had a few good laughs about that all through lunch to the point where I finally got annoyed enough to through a grape at him. It landed in his open mouth while he was laughing, and he promptly began to choke. Grace and I watched him for awhile, but then I was distracted by a loud commotion.

A chorus of MOO's erupted all around me, and for a moment I was extremely confused. I glanced around, and people were just belting out an occasional 'moo' while eating and laughing with each other, but for the life of me, I couldn't understand why. I turned to Grace for a wordless explanation, but she was already looking at me.

"Do you want to yell at them, or should I?" she asked with a resigned expression.

"Um, you."

I had no idea what was going on, so I'm going to stick with the old 'watch and learn' routine.

Grace stood up on our table, cupped her hands and shouted, "HEY, IDIOTS! WHAT THE HELL!"

It became quiet and I could tell Grace was kind of unnerved by the sudden pairs of eyes looking up at her, shocked.

"Um... Stop it."

Even I was a bit disappointed by the anticlimactic response.

I raised an eyebrow up at Grace and she seemed to gain a bit of courage. I don't know why, because I sort of had been aiming for 'Grace-that-more-than-kinda-sucked' expression. But hey, whatever works.

"This is SO immature, not to mention probably the bitc- I mean, meanest thing you can do to someone," she hurried on after a stern glare from a lunchroom monitor. "I mean, honestly? Mooing at the poor girl is stupid, once you think about it. Who are the cows here? Not her. You."

People blinked at her. Like, in sync. Unfortunately for them, I finally caught on.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I shouted, clambering up on the table beside her. "You mean they moo whenever a girl walks in?"

"Not just any girl," a guy corrected me. "Colleen Cow."

I frowned. "Who's Colleen?" I muttered to Grace out of the corner of my mouth. She nodded at a shell-shocked girl in the middle of the cafeteria, and I understood.

Someone needed to screw in the hinge of her jaw, because her braces were probably scraping the floor. She could have been pretty, but she just... tried too hard. She didn't exactly have the type of body that you would normally call 'hot' so her mini skirt and tank top really weren't doing her justice. And she seriously needed to lay off on the make-up or I swear the circus won't ask her for a résumé; it's qualification enough. I also suddenly remembered that she had been one of the adoring girls, staring up at Ellen at my... ceremony, for the lack of a better word.

So that was pretty much Colleen. And the whole caf was mooing at her.

"Aw, Collie Cow doesn't mind," the same guy said in a cocky voice, grinning. His dumb friends guffawed. If he informed them that they are all descendents of the neighborhood mailman, they would probably all guffaw.