Unloved

Seven

      R A C H E L

  I went to the restroom quickly. Why was I crying? I was just too emotional. Mum had called and said she was sorry for being so angry with me and wished that we would just have a normal, healthy mother-daughter relationship. I looked at my father's picture in the family album. 

I was very little then, about two years old and it was my second birthday. I really don't remember much about my father. I only saw pictures of him... just pictures. But in my mind's eye, I thought of him as the perfect father who would always have time for me. Would a perfect father like that have a divorce and refuse to visit his daughter for about 16 years? I shook my head. It didn't make any sense to me.

 I don't remember anything about my dad, my mum and I seldom talked about him. The little information I knew about my father was found in an old, small diary my mum always kept with her. I had found the diary on my mum's bed when I was 9 years old. I had taken a peek in it and had found out that my dad was a businessman and was in jail for dealing in drugs. Now, I have no idea where he is, but I hope he's still not in jail.

Suddenly, I heard a strange noise which sounded like someone was trying to enter the restroom. I quickly put on more make-up to cover up my tears. It was Theresa, one of my roommates. I quickly tucked the album under my armpits and returned to the room. I sat on my bed, not feeling sleepy at all. 

I fought back the tears that threatened to fall from my eyes. I just didn't understand anything that was going on in my life. I wanted to rewind and go back to the times when Mum didn't have to travel so much. 

I looked at my iPhone notifications. There was one missed call. It was Mum who had called me. I was so overwhelmed with a cocktail of emotions. I considered the thought of calling Mum back. I didn't know what to do. I turned my phone off and put the photo album under the pillow. Before I knew it, I fell asleep.

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    "Rise and shine!" I heard a female voice say. I rubbed my eyes, stifled a loud yawn and got up from my bunk bed. The voice belonged to a red - haired girl who was holding a notepad in one hand and a half-eaten hamburger in the other. She looked about 17 or 18 years old.

"Are you the new girl?" she asked me. From her composure, confidence and attitude, it was obvious that she was the person in authority.

I nodded. She handed me a small, black hardcover book.

"These are the book of rules governing CSS and it also tells you all you need to know about CSS. Find some time to read it and go put something more decent on", Dawn, the camp counsellor ordered me.

I noticed that almost everyone was staring at me conspicuously. I didn't want to dress up in front of total strangers and so I went to the restroom. I wore a yellow flower - print tank top . I put on denim shorts and wore my favourite sneakers.

"So Rachel, let me get straight to the point. Everyone here is assigned a job weekly. Our jobs will always change from week to week, but our working partners will never change. So I'm reading out the list now", Dawn said.

"Rachel, you're working with Megan. Theresa you're working with Hailey. Linda you're working with Marissa. Elaine you're working with Naomi. Amanda you're working with me, "Dawn continued.

 We were 10 girls in total. Immediately Dawn finished reading out the list, everyone teamed up with their working partners and began to perform their respective tasks. Our bunk's task was to clean the dining hall. I just stood there, confused and clueless. Everywhere I looked, everyone was busy doing one thing or the other. Megan came up to me and handed me a duster and began cleaning the tables and chairs, ignoring me.

"Megan, I don't want to beg you to help me. You know I don't know how to do all this--" I said and pointed to the other people who were busily working.

"Well, I didn't know you were so interested in cleaning. I would gladly do this all alone. You're going to ruin everything", Megan told me.

"Well, I don't want to get into any trouble", I said.

"Fine. Cleaning is pretty simple. Since you're new at this, you could just clean those utensils with a napkin", Megan said.

I nodded and started to clean the utensils. By the time I was done, my fingers were red and sore. A few minutes later, we were done with our tasks and Dawn handed everyone a schedule. I glanced through the schedule. 

I wished that it wasn't necessary to do some of the camp activities listed. I could skip them and stay in my bunk. No one knew me, and no one would figure out that I was not taking part in the camp activities. The bell rang and everyone stopped whatever they were doing and went to the dining hall. I did same. I had to make my way through droves of people before I could find a suitable place to sit.

 A middle-aged woman, whom everyone called Miss Taylor, put a bowl of oatmeal on the table. I stared at the food. Was this woman serious? I had never and would never eat oatmeal.  A girl sitting next to me  gulped the food down in under a minute. I looked around me. It seemed that everyone was enjoying their food. I stared at the disgusting food once again. It wouldn't hurt to take one bite, I told myself. I took a spoon and slowly forced the food into my mouth. I gagged. It tasted exactly how I thought it would taste like - distasteful.