Haven Bakery (mxm)

Asking for Forgiveness

My dad had to be transferred and taken to a cardiologist specialist that is located near the city where Devin and I lived. He needed emergency bypass surgery to be done, and required an experienced surgeon to preform the operation because of the high risks that are involved.  

When Devin and I finally arrived to the hospital. My mother, Lily and Trevor were already there waiting anxiously in the waiting area. Dad was taken to surgery and was still in the operating room. They were waiting patiently to hear any news. 

My mother's face looked distraught, and tears stained her cheeks. I could see a slight tremble in her hands as she reached out to greet me. 

"Oh, Ethy, I kept telling him to be careful," Mother immediately collided into my chest, the moment she spotted me arriving through the doors, "the doctor already warned him after the last incident that he has a high chance of suffering a heart attack and told him to not involve himself in any stressful situations."

"What happened?"

She hesitated for a moment, then softly begun, "I just asked your father, that maybe, this year to invite you and Devin over for the our family's annual Christmas dinner. Your aunts and uncle requested it and approved it, but your father immediately got angry and...oh this is all my fault," mother let out a load sob. It didn't take much for me to guess how my dad stress levels manage to rise and hit critical level.

I tried my hardest to console my mother. It wasn't her fault that all of this happened. Dad was already a ticking time bomb himself, it just happened to be set off at that moment. And that moment was on the subject about me. Not sure how I should feel about that, or that fact I was somehow indirectly involved, but at this time. I won't be thinking to deeply into it. 

"So what now?" I asked Trevor about the current situation, because my mom clearly was in no condition to answer any of my questions. I already had a hard time trying to hear clear words with her sobs interrupting at every few words. 

"We have to wait until someone calls us," my brother shrugged. He looked a little pale, but that was probably to be expected. All of them must be still recovering from that state of shock they encountered. I know I am.

There were some available seats that Devin and I could sit as we waited with everyone else.

I lay my head on Devin's shoulder, feeling a bit tired from all the hustle from this morning work and the after affects of an adrenaline rush from making a fast dash to the hospital. I just wanted to rest my head somewhere, and I know where I will be most comfortable.

I assume and guess that all of this would be awkward for Devin, considering he made me promise that after with the whole Zoania case. He stated that would be the last time I would get myself involved with my family. And I made an agreement with him. And yet, here I am in the hospital waiting for word about my father and I still keep in contact with my mother and older brother. It's almost like I broke that agreement.

Though he hasn't made any fuss when I made us rush from the bakery to get here. He hadn't said a word or said any complaints. He just obediently did what I asked. Taking a quick glance at him, he doesn't seem all that mad or angry. Actually, he looks tired. Maybe, he's just like me, too tired to even think about saying anything.

At this present moment, I have mixed feelings about being here. I know the man is my father, and that at any moment he could pass away. But still, what had happened between us couldn't really be fixed or forgotten so quickly.

The scar on my shoulder is always a constant reminder of that night, it can never be erased. 

Though, no matter how hard I try I can't explain or justify the instinctual reflex of wanting to head straight to the hospital. I could say because he is my father and as one of his sons its only natural that I had to be here. That would be the most logical answer. However, I can't truly, in good conscious, say that is truly the reason. But at this point, I didn't want to think about it. What is done, is already done. There is no going back.