"I want to go back to my old ways." Ezra said in a monotone. It felt like he held no emotion. I stood dumbfounded not knowing what to do?
"I tried you know, it's been eleven fucking months we're dating and I still can't expct anything from you to pl...
It is Friday. I had a little argument earlier with Jack, he wanted to go to a party and I was not in mood. He had told me about Leila's little adventure and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.
"Stop doing that." Jack yelled at me.
"Doing what?" I asked.
"Ignoring me, ignoring everything." He said frustrated.
Why the hell is he getting mad? I'm the one whose best friend claims that he was in love my girlfriend. I'm the one who Leila has rejected. But the funny thing was I was the only one to blame. The only thing I was ignoring was myself.
I wanted to become oblivious to everything, and in order to protect myself from all the pain I started ignoring everything. Myself, Jack and most importantly...Leila.. I was ignoring her not because I was mad at her or anything.
"I'm not ignoring anyone." I defended myself.
But of course Jack was not going to buy that crap.
"Yeah right... go tell that to someone who actually buys that shit." He spat and turned his concentration back to his video game.
I heard Leila's and Rachel's giggle outside of door. Their giggle soon turned into echo as they walked further. I sighed and started doing my packing. It's been months I haven't met my mum and I was missing her like hell.
So I decided it's now time to pay my mom a visit. I had a long drive and I didn't want to piss myself so I didn't argue further with Jack.
"Can I talk to you?" Luke came and asked me. I looked at Jack then back at Luke.
"Alone." Luke said. I nodded and walked out of door.
Luke shortly came behind me. "I see you've given up." he said in a disappointed voice.
There was hint of sadness in his tone. "Yes I have given up on her. I don't deserve her Luke." I said.
I wanted to be done with this conversation. I neither tried to run away from the talk nor did I try to change the subject. I stood there looking at him and letting him finish. "How can you give up on her Ezra... don't you love her?" he asked me.
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I sighed I do... I do love her. "I don't, look I tired but she wants me to move on. And besides it for best if we move on." I said.
He looked at me disbelievingly. "So you're saying it doesn't bother you when you imagine her with someone else?" Jack asked out of nowhere, I looked behind and saw him standing lazily beside the door.
"No... It doesn't bother me. She should move on and so should I. If she has found someone then I'm happy for her. I need to get going now. I don't want to surprise my mom in the middle of the night." I said and left them standing there thinking that I have probably lost my mind.
