Always & Forever

chapter 9

chapter 9 The Ball

After our talk with Finn, I was sitting in Rebekah's car while humming my one of favorite Imagine Dragons song I know what it wasn't even created yet.

When I realized what I thought. 

It wasn't even created.

I chuckled humorlessly and dropped my head on the steering wheel with a hard thud.

Deep breaths 

My friends. My family. My university. I
laughed hysterically and felt tears in my throat. My hands started to shake but  I still laughed until my laugh turned into dry sobs.

Please Lett, breath.

My all life. It's gone.

I felt my throat clenching, breathing was hard.

It was a freaking amazing time for my mental breakdown.

Just perfect.

"I need to calm down. I need to calm down. It's alright, you will survive this. It's alright, you just need to calm down and remember what sister Teresa taught you. Repeat after me: You are safe, you are alive. Find five things you can see. Tree. Grass. The old man with a green cap. The little girl and her mother. That's good Letty, you doing great. Now find three things you can touch. Steering wheel. Leather. Window glass. That's okay. You are doing great. Now tell me who you are. I'm Nicolette Jackie Green. I grew up in Saint Teresa's Orphanage. When I was seven-years-old, I was adopted into Green's family. I have an adoptive older brother named Anthony. My adoptive mother name is Helena. I love them to the moon and back. And I am safe now. I am calm." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second. My grounding exercise was working even just a bit. I'm alright now.

For a couple of minutes I just breathed in and out 

I didn't know how long it lasted but no matter that I was again able to breathe.

My panic attack/mental breakdown was defeated. On my own.
I proudly even little bit silly grinned and looked at the mirror on my left.

I silently examined the girl in front of me.

Her ash blonde hair was messy, free strands framed her slightly frightened oval face. She looked a little bit worn out. There was slightly darker than her skin color circles under her grey eyes.

The skin was a little bit paler than usual. She wasn't drop dead gorgeous but she wasn't hideous either.

As I was observing myself in the mirror, I felt my phone vibrate. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at the were five missed calls and 6 texts. And all in between 8 minutes I was panicking. 

The only one person in this world who knew my number was Kol.

I opened texts.

Here we go

Darling, are you alright? Please pick up your phone.-Kol

Little angel, I'm worried. Please pick up.-Kol

Nicolette, goddamn it. If you in 10 minutes don't pick up your damn phone I'm going slay all the Mystic Falls until I find you. -Kol

I am not kidding.-Kol

Without reading the last ones I called him back. He picked up after one ring. Someone was waiting.

"Darling! For god's sake. Why didn't you answer me earlier?" Kol joyfully but full of worry voice greeted me and I inwardly smiled a little bit.