Heteronym

Chapter 34

I clicked my phone off and put it on the white nightstand as Beck climbed into bed, his body heat radiating onto my T-shirt clad body, his arm wrapping around my small waist. There was a satisfied smile on my lips as I rolled over so we were facing each other under the warm white covers of my bed, my head resting on his firm chest.

Beck moved his arm so his large hand was resting on my jutting hip, his thumb moving back and forth on my bare skin just above above the waistband of my black thong. "Can we just stay on vacation forever?" I murmured seriously.

Beck's chest rumbled softly under my cheek as he laughed lightly, "That would be nice, wouldn't it? At least we don't work nine to five jobs."

"Yeah. I work a 5am to 10pm job on fun days," I mused. "You're the lazy ass that gets to sleep 'till eight every day."

"You know what I meant," I could practically hear the roll in his eyes. "I'm taking Aras skating tomorrow if you and Ace want to come."

"I'd love to but I think I'm going to go to Seb's grave. You should have fun with Aras though, you only get to see him so often," I spoke with an inflection of genuine sadness. Axel was in Boston for the holidays so I wouldn't be seeing him this week. I knew Beck missed his brother a lot; I didn't want him to try to cut his time short to visit a grave, even if Seb was one of his best friends. Beck and his brother used to have dinner every week as a family in addition to the spare time Beck tried to get from hockey and classes to go to his chemo appointments. Now that he was healthy again, they could do activities they both enjoyed like skating. They were adorable together and I wouldn't break that up for the world.

"Okay," Beck whispered, his thumb leaving my waist to trace the blacks line banding around my upper left arm, the matching straight line with Zeke, Axel, and himself along with the line above it with the script 'like patricians' printed in the band. They were beautiful memorial tattoos though the '36' behind all of our right ears were my favorite. Almost no one noticed them; it was like a secret memento we all carried.

"Sometimes I feel like I don't have a right to miss him," Beck admitted. "I only knew him for eight months but then again I practically lived with him for at least half of that."

"You're allowed to miss him as much as anyone else, Beck. Time doesn't control how much you love someone; you told me the same thing at Ben's sentencing. Seb would have called you one of his best friends, just like you do for him. It's okay to miss him. In all honesty, I still miss him all the time," I told Beck, my voice soft and vulnerable. "It's been a rough year and I miss him more than ever but I just have to remind myself that he would have been there for both of us through everything."

"I'll probably go tomorrow morning if I get up early enough," Beck settled on that conclusion. I didn't say anything for a while, letting us both absorb the comfortable silence. I closed my eyes as his hand drifted back to my hip, clutching my body to his own possessively. "My mom wants us to have dinner with Martin and her when we have our game in Boston but I told her it would have to be more like lunch, if at all. Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah." I responded. I liked Beck's mother but she stressed me out. That should fade with time as I became more comfortable with her. I guess these types of things needed to brew for a little while. "Do you think I should tell-God, I don't even know what to call him anymore. I guess I never really thought of him as a father even when I thought he was my biological father.-"

"Stepfather?" Beck suggested. Something about that hit me hard. The man I though was my dad was really me stepfather. Damn.

"Okay; do you think I should tell my stepfather that I'm not really his kid or should I let it go?"