no longer ↳ yuwin ☆

☆ s i x ☆

I wake up, sweating, tears soaked my pillows. The worst day of my life, replaying again and again, in my dreams. The same feeling, emotion, thoughts, it was the same. I was hurt by the words he said, but in a way thankful that I know not to love him, because he doesn't love me. 

I under stand love is a complex emotion, but you just get that feeling when you see a person. I feeling of happiness, protection, care, utter most love. The feeling I get when I see Sicheng is un-writable, its impossible to truly depict, and piece apart my feelings. Seeing him with another is making me realise why I feel this way, but- he has Taeil, not me. 

At least he's happy. 

__

My stomach growled, a sharp pain pierces through my head, my legs ache, nothing is right. I finally build up the courage to walk out the door and face him. Only to my misfortune, do I see him with none other than the famous Taeil, the one who stole my non-existent placing in Sicheng's heart. Watching the duo made me realise, I may hate the fact that I'm not taeil, but in a way, they seem so right for each other, their presence makes them happy, makes them smile, something I could never do, never fulfil, nothing I could ever look up to. They have this essence, this spark, this empowering gaze at each other, that you only read about in books, or see in tv or movies. I long for a relationship like this. One with no lies, no pain, pure euphoria. But it wasn't like that, this was real life, I just had to understand that love stories don't happen to people like me, people who grew up with an average life, with an average dream, not someone special like him.

I snap out of my train of thought, and travel through to the kitchen, ignoring the two on the couch, gazing at the tv, enjoying being around each other. I go to the fridge, grabbing a small can of sprite. I get the bandages, and wrap the small scars on my leg. I feel the aching of pressure on the cuts, but ignoring the feeling and going back to what I was doing. I go into the pantry to fulfil the everlasting hunger. Grabbing a small bowl of salad, and a cookie. Completely disregarding the diet we were forced to take. I take my bowl and sit on the counter, once again getting completely lost in my train of thought. 

"Yuta, I see you came out of your room"

Doyoung.

Doyoung's POV

I step out of my room, only to see Taeil and WinWin, watching something together on the tv. I sigh at the two on the couch, and proceed to the kitchen. I step onto the cold tiling, only to see Yuta's back, as he stares out the window eating.

"Yuta, I see you came out of your room"

It was good to see him actually outside, most of the time he would stay in his room, locking the door, forcing Winwin to sleep on the couch, or in someone else's room. 

"Oh, Doyoung."

His voice was cold, he was still upset. Frankly, I was as well. Taeil was one of my closest friends. We sang together, danced together, but more importantly laughed together, cried together. Soon enough he was more caught up in WinWin's happiness instead of mine. These thoughts crowed my mind, but I didn't push them away, even if I knew I was being somewhat selfish.

"You know Yuta,  he didn't mean what he said, trust me."

"Oh really, Doyoung? And how did you know he didn't mean it? How do you know? You aren't him, you don't know."

He raised his voice, catching the attention of the two sitting on the couch. 

"Yuta Just stop-"

"You know what? No! I'm sick and tired of you all saying no! Just let me be!"

He once again stormed off, with WinWin's eyes following him. Every single conversation we had about the issue, he never talked. He remained closed off, not wanting to open his bottled feelings. I understand that everyone has something they want to say about someone, even me. But he can't stay like this, he can't remain in this state of mind.

"Doyoung.. What was Yuta talking about?"

WinWin's voice alerts me, I sharply turn my head over to face in his direction.

"Win, it's nothing, Yuta just needs time."

"Taeil stop. I want to hear what Doyoung has to say."

"Win, it's as Taeil said. Nothing."

--

Having to lie to WinWin was terrible, given the situation. But telling him might not help them, or even help me, after all, maybe Yuta and WinWin weren't destiny, they weren't the perfect couple the fans followed, and otheres desired, the perfect relationships you read in fanfictions, but i'm now realising that it was a lie. 

The no longer need eachother

[A/N: hey so note, I just wanted to thank @swagpriest for supporting this story :))) it means a lot to me that you love it! Also want to add that I apologise for this chapter being so emo, I just rambled on about emotional things lol. Also, I'm thinking of making this quITe a long story, lots of emo, jealousy, sabotage ~ d r a m a ~