Changed

71. awkward conversations

"So when is your meeting with potential parents." Will asks me. I must have had a peculiar look on my face because he says "I want to be a part of your life Delaney. I want you to share things with me, even if it's not easy stuff."
I appreciated the fact he was trying to be understanding but knowing he had been hoping I was keeping the baby made it difficult to discuss this with him.
I lay my head back down on his chest and he strokes my hair gently. "Its Tuesday.... 2 days from now....it seems everything is happening so fast. "
"Mmhmm... it does seem like these past few months have flown by.... Delaney are you sure about your decision?"
I shot up from my laying position and scowled at him.
"I'm not trying to change your mind you just seem so wishy washy about the whole thing, I just want you to be sure so you dont regret it later."
"Let's talk about something else." I say with finality.
"Delaney..."
"No I said I am done talking about it Will. Please respect that."
"Helloooooo I'm home!" I hear Allie call from the living room a minute later. Thank God she got me out of this room filled with awkward tension.
I stand up and throw a shirt and sweatpants on and walk out of the room.
"Hey babe...wait why so glum chum?" Allie asks.
"Just feel like I'm being pressured about this baby."
"Laney, its your choice in the end, it doesn't matter what any of us think, in the end you do what you feel is best for you and for the baby."
"So you're saying you dont agree with my decision either?"
"Delaney, no. That's not what I am saying at all! I'm saying I don't have an opinion because it's not me!"
I decide to drop it before I start crying again. 
"Delaney." Allie tries but I ignore her because I am sure she is going to keep pushing.
"Delaney I think you need to see someone professional and talk about this."
At that moment Will walks out of the room. Its embarrassing that he heard my friend tell me I needed professional help.
"Wow thanks Allie! Way to be a friend."
"Delaney, you're always so angry and when you're not you're crying. I hardly ever see you laugh and it's just getting worse and worse. What happened to you would change anyone but dont let it ruin who you are. I love you and want what's best for you, I'm not trying to be condescending."
I turn to Will, "what do you have to say about all this...you think I'm unstable too?" I ask him
"Delaney no one said you were unstable, we just want you to be happy
... I do agree with Allie that you've gotten more and more on edge the farther into this pregnancy you get..."
"NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT THE PREGNANCY!" I scream at them. Now I am crying and cant stop.
"Delaney this is what we are saying.  It's not just simple pregnancy hormones making you this way. You were raped and you need to talk to someone who can help you because clearly Will, Luke and I are doing a shit job of helping you through this."
At this point I am crying so hard and cant breath. My chest is hurting. Am I having a heart attack?"  I think to myself... I start to panic and Will and Allie hurry over to my side
"Cant...breath" I'm hysterical at this point.
"Call 911." Will tells Allie.