Jada's Journal

2/15/19

     I haven't updated in so long, and I'm sorry about that—but I've had so much going on. I lost a person that I thought of as my best friend, I lost $20, I've started doing weird internet shit to try and deal with my unhealthy coping mechanisms (in which they don't exactly help my mental state), and I'm overall just not well. My brain is on overdrive but my body doesn't wanna do anything. I have no one (in real life) that I can genuinely talk to and be a hundred percent comfortable around anymore. Shit sucks. I know that in your head you might be thinking, "omg, just make some more friends, dumbass," but It's really not that easy. First of all, I'm labeled as the 'weird kid' in the majority of my classes. Second of all, everyone has already formed their little "cliques" as I say. I'm planning on joining the track team starting Monday. Maybe that'll get me aquatinted to some new people and I won't have to keep thinking about... her. Damn, not having anyone to talk to really fucking sucks. I hope this dilemma gets solved soon. It just sucks because I don't really have anyone who understood me as well as she did, you know? Jesus fucking Christ... I just started crying in the middle of my study hall while writing this, ugh. I hate change so much. I really wanted to cut with her, but I guess it was just a hit n' run.

'Till next time, peace.

Side note: I hope I can find someone to cuddle soon... 😌💞