sun & moon | johnten ✓

three

ten

i woke up to johnny's breathing. at first i was startled, but then i just realized we just never hung up the phone last night. i had never fell asleep on the phone with anyone, like ever. do i hang up now? do i keep it going? i was literally having a panic attack over whether i should hang up a phone.

"johnny!"

i don't know why i did it, but i screamed into the phone. i heard a thud on the other side of the call.

"are you okay?"

this time my voice was soft, and honestly worried.

"yep, i just fell on the floor."

"sorry..."

"why didn't you just hang up, ouch."

"i never fell asleep on the phone before, i didn't know what to do!"

"well i haven't either..."

"haha...was i your first time?"

"goodbye ten."

me and my stupid dirty jokes, this would get me no where. if i was lucky, me and johnny would be friends for another week.

i got out of my bed, dreading seeing the mess outside of my room. i opened the door and stepped into the hallway. beer bottles, empty and cracked, lay on the floor. i sighed, where was my father?

i wandered around the disaster i called my home, looking for a sign of life. i was used to living with my alcoholic father, i grew up with him. my mother had left us, she was sick of him. i could only imagine she was sick of me too, because she left me here. she left me with a father who didn't remember i existed half the time. i took care of him more than he ever took care of me. no one knew, of course, why would i want anyone to pity me? when i left my house, i could be me and i could live the life i've always wanted. i flirted, i had fun, i did what i wanted, because when i came home i had to be an adult.

"oh my god, dad!"

i almost tripped over my own father. he lied on the floor, soaked in god knows what. he looked a mess, but in his hand he still held his precious bottle of liquor.

"come on, get up. i have school soon, and we both need to get cleaned up."

i tried to help him up, but he kept stumbling. he tried to speak but all his words were slurred. i hushed him, telling him it was fine and he didn't need to explain. even though i really wanted to know why he was like this. i wanted to know how he loved alcohol more than his own child. but i'd never find out.

i led him to the bathroom, praying he wouldn't do anything to get either of us hurt. i left him on his own, standing outside the door. i heard him talking to himself as the shower turned on. i didn't trust him on his own. i didn't know if he'd hurt himself or whatnot. i wasn't going to risk anything. i sunk to the ground, resting my head in my hands. i tried so hard to help him, but i was just a kid.

i checked my phone for the time, and decided i had to be late today. and just for a moment i wished i could live johnny's life for a day, without parents. all they ever did in my life was hurt me, and not just mentally.

johnny

i walked into school, keeping an eye out for ten. i didn't see him, but he had just transferred so maybe he was still trying to adjust. he could be at his locker, or in his first class for all i knew. i contemplated sending him a quick text, but ultimately decided against it. i didn't want to be annoying.

i repeated my same routine, and went straight to my locker. to my surprise, there was no one at my locker to interrogate me, like the day before. maybe people would finally realize that i'm closed off, and that's how i'm going to stay. if i kept everything to myself that means no drama, no friends, and no rumors. so far ten was the only one that knew i basically lived alone, for all i care people could think i had twenty siblings.

i opened my locker, grabbing one binder for the day. my parents had planned a different binder for each day of my schedule, that way i didn't have to keep going back and forth to my locker. it made school a lot easier, being completely honest. i wouldn't have thought of it myself.

and now came the part of the morning i dreaded most, going to calculus. i didn't even know how i was passing the class, i literally write random numbers and letter on all my papers. i mean as long as i passed, it made my parents happy. so i guess that was my goal.

"mark? what are you doing in the senior hallway?"

"i don't really know."

"are you stoned or something?"

"johnny, what the hell? no!"

"get to class, i'll talk to you later."

"fine, adios."

i watched as mark walked back in the direction he came from. he was honestly a weird kid, but in a good way? he was fun, so i guess people just were drawn to him. it was good to have him around although now that i think about it, i hardly knew anything about him. maybe we're more similar than i imagined.

"john seo! get to my class right now and stop loitering in the hallway."

"on my way, mrs. lee."

i walked over to the class, earning a look from mrs. lee. i wasn't late to her class so i don't know why she was so angry. i had a solid four minutes before i needed to go to the class.

"take your seat."

i raised my hands, as if to surrender. this earned a few laughs from my classmates.

"yes ma'am."

i sat in my seat next to sehun, he was in a lot of my classes. we got along well, but we were both more on the secluded side. we talked a little bit, but not too excessively.

"okay let's get started. has anyone seen our new student, ten?"

my attention immediately was directed to the teacher. it was only ten's second day, why would he be late? i looked around the room, just making sure she didn't skip over him. but he wasn't in the room. mrs. lee continued to look around the class, asking students if they had seen ten.

i pulled out my phone, hiding it under the table. maybe i should text ten.

to : ten
hey, you okay?

to : johnny
yeah, i'm just running
a bit late. no worries.

to : ten
okay, just checking

to : johnny
i'm okay :)

i sat back in my chair, feeling relieved. at least i didn't lose ten in a day, that would've just proved i'm not fit to have actual friends.

ten

i sent the text to johnny, even though tears streamed down my face. but i had to be okay for him. he couldn't know my secrets yet, he'd leave me.