sun & moon | johnten ✓

ten

johnny

i finally worked up the courage to walk into the school. i ruined everything, i always did. i knew i was right so why did i try to change my future? i wasn't built for love or relationships. but i couldn't seem to wrap my head around that. not since ten appeared in my life.

"johnny, wait!"

i whipped around, not paying attention to the voice but just hoping it was ten. my hopes didn't work because ten was nowhere in sight.

"sorn i'd love to talk, but i really need to find ten."

as i began to walk away, she grabbed onto my arm. i put a smile on my face. i knew she didn't mean any harm. she was just a sweet girl with a terrible case of the crushies.

"sorn, i need to find ten. i swear i'll talk to you soon."

"i was just with him. he went towards the library."

this got my attention. i let her grab onto my arm once more, and she didn't say a word. she just looked at me with her big, bright eyes.

"of course, the library."

she raised an eyebrow in response, but i didn't say anything more. i needed to get to the library.

ten

i sat against the shelf of books where me and johnny had met up before. i thought back to that day, my second day of school. he was always snapping pictures of me for i was 'his model.' i wondered if he still had the pictures in his phone, and which others he probably had without my realization. i shook my head, that was the last thought i needed in my head.

i looked up at the shelf in front of me, seeing the same dark red cover i had seen the first time i came into the library. i took it down from the shelf and made myself comfortable on the library floor. with my chest pressed to the ground, i ran my fingers over the book's lettering. the title read, "i wish i could forget you". wow what a coincidence.

almost as if i was hallucinating, i felt a soft touch on my hips. shivers were sent down my spine and i turned around to see the one and only johnny. i moved away from him, making his hands fall back to his sides. he sighed and sat down against the bookshelf.

"what don't you understand, johnny? now is not the time to be acting like a boyfriend, because quite frankly you don't fit the role."

"ouch. i was looking for you everywhere."

i rolled my eyes. of course he was. but that wasn't my concern right now. i turned away from him, continuing to look at the book in my hands. johnny didn't leave though, the library was silent aside from his soft breathing.

"ten, i get it. i'm a shitty guy, i messed around. i went from person to person. i had a different person at my house every night and i'm still wondering how i haven't got an std...sorry that was uncalled for. but what i'm trying to say was ever since i met you, something has been different."

i glanced at him, his head was in his hands. he was nervous, this wasn't the johnny everyone knew. he wasn't confident now, around me. "tell me then. tell me what's so different."

he didn't lift his head up, but he did start talking. "i used to think love was this made up fantasy. i used to think i had no chance of achieving it. and then you walked into the stupid cafeteria, with your gorgeous smile and your oversized, light blue t-shirt. i just thought, 'wow that smile alone could make people fall in love.' and you talked to me! of all people you chose me."

"johnny what are you saying..?"

"i'm saying we didn't meet for no reason. i'm saying you suddenly appeared in my life and everything changed. i'm saying i need you, even if you don't need me."

"i can't do this right now. i'm sorry, johnny."

i started to get up, but johnny was faster. he stood in front of me, looking straight into my eyes. his hands cupped my face, and he gave me a broken smile.

"just promise me you'll come home tonight. i won't sleep if i know you're not safe in bed."

"i promise."

johnny

it was nearly eleven at night, and ten still wasn't home. school ended hours ago and there was no sign of him. i offered to bring him home, he said no. i offered to lend him my car, he said no. i just wanted to know where he was. i just wanted some sort of sign he was safe.

to : ten
are you okay??

to : ten
it's getting late...just let me know you're okay

to : ten
i'm heading to bed now. i'm sleeping in the spare bedroom, so you can have my room.
delivered

i tiredly walked up the stairs to the spare bedroom. my parents had used this bedroom when they visited, but that was years ago. my parents hardly ever stayed for more than one night. six bedrooms, six bathrooms, three living rooms. all for one high school kid who hated being alone. my parents surely planned this out well.

i set my phone on the table next to the bed, looking at my 'delivered' message one last time. he would come home, he promised he would.

i closed my eyes, but i couldn't fall asleep. i listened to the silence of my house, i was alone again. i didn't have ten, or some random stranger. well i didn't want some stranger, i wanted ten. i wanted him to forgive me for being such a jerk.

i just wished i could take back all the times i made a stupid dirty joke or talked about other people i've been with.

no one wants to hear the person their interested talking about someone else.

why was i so oblivious to that?