Playing the Playboys

Chapter 35: The Alley

And I wanna be there for you
For the rest of your days
But I know that hurt
If we keep on doing this

The guilt was eating me alive.

I paced around the hallway of Ivan's room, biting on my fingers nervously. Was it my fault that he took too many drugs? Did I do this to him? Did I trigger him to the point that he thought he needed so much drugs to make him feel better?

My mind took me to a trip back to memory lane, flashes of what we used to do together started replaying in my head.

Especially the moment I hurt him.

"And besides," I leaned in to him, right before my lips could touch his ear, just like what I did to Logan. "I needed some entertainment."

With that, I turned around and walked away. I didn't have to look back to know he was crying.

"Don't do that," Zachary's voice pulled me out of the flashback. "Don't blame yourself like that."

Zachary, Ryder and I came straight to the hospital after hearing about Ivan. Apparently, Zachary found him in the bathroom having a seizure and barely breathing, cocaine scattered around his body. He immediately called the ambulance when he saw him, worried to death.

We were currently waiting for an update about how he was, and it was taking long. His moms were on the way here after being contacted by the hospital.

"But it's my fault," I whispered, my voice shaky. "He said so himself he was triggered by me, because of my stupid, selfish revenge plan."

I know he told me he didn't blame me, but I still couldn't help but feel like this.

His face was grim as he sat down on a hospital chair, bowing his head. I bit my lip and sat beside him, noticing how his hands clenched and unclenched.

"You're not the only one at fault, you know," he said, and I swear I heard him tremble. "If I didn't leave him from that start, he wouldn't have started using again. I knew he had a problem, and yet I still left him for a girl. For a fucking girl who didn't love me back."

And I thought I was the unstable one.

"Hey," I put my hand on his gently. He visibly relaxed, but he still didn't look at me. "Calm down."

He glanced at my hand before intertwining it with his, gripping it tightly before letting go.

"Besides," I began, wanting to distract myself from the fact that he was holding my hand, "now we know why she didn't like any of you back. It wasn't because you guys weren't good enough, it's because she just didn't swing that way."

He ran a hand over his face, shaking his head. "Second biggest plot twist in my life, I swear."

I raised an eyebrow. "What's the first?"

He turned his head towards me, his blue eyes glistening with emotion. With a heave he said, "My sister's death."

My eyes widened in surprise.

It was a common fact that Zachary Hunter had a twin sister, Rhian. She was as hot as her brother and was quite popular in our school despite being in a different one. She had dark hair like Zachary's, and usually wore a black leather jacket, combat boots, and red lipstick to complete her bad girl looks.