Keeping Secrets

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"Hey, Bucky, do you think you can handle yourself for a few hours?" Steve hollard from the bedroom to the living room where Bucky was sitting on the couch, watching TV.

"Yeah. I guess so. Why?" Bucky muted the television.

Walking out of the bedroom, Steve fixed the collar of his button down shirt. "Rebekah and I are going on another date. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is!"

"Great. I don't know when I'll be back so don't want up."

Before Bucky could say anything, Steve has grabbed his keys and phone and was already out the door. Bucky was left alone in the apartment npw with nothing really to do. For the past  week to week and a half he's been watching I Love Lucy. He didn't particularily enjoy it, but it was something he missed in his cryogenic absence. But Bucky couldn't just sit there, mindlessly watching TV. He was already bored with it. So, Bucky figured, why not do a little exploring? It's never hurt anyone.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Coasting down the Brooklyn streets, Steve and Rebekah rode on his antique motorcycle. Her arms were wrapped around his mid-section while Steve's grip was firm on the handles. They'd taken the long way around town to get to their destination just because Rebekah had never been on a motorcycle.

When the pair did make it to the restaurant, Rebekah was shaking with excitement. The engine slowed as Steve let off the throttle and then turned the key.

"That was amazing!" She gushed, her hands trembling.

"I'm glad you liked it." Steve grabbed her hand and with the other, gestured to the front doors of the restaurant. "Shall we?"

Rebekah and Steve had been together for nearly two months now. When they went out, Steve wouldn't think twice about it; he'd leave Bucky alone and go.  To Steve, Rebekah reminded him of Peggy. Both of them were fierce, both strong. Each of them could stand up for themselves. Even more so, he thought if we was with Rebekah he could start over. Steve could theoretically get the raincheck on that dance; he could start new.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Thinking there wouldn't be much in any other rooms, Bucky made his way into Steve's bedroom. It was all so clean. The bed was made, carpets were vaccumed, there was nothing out of place. Bucky glanced around, spotting a dark brown, compact notebook, a pen and a creamish brown folder on Steve's dresser.

Struck with curosity, Bucky walked over. Each of the items were handled with extreme care; there were no scratches or bent edges, but as evident to there being no collected dust it had indeed been written in recently. Bucky picked up the bound notebook, unstrapped the bark brown leather and opened it to a random page in the front, seeing Steve's neat, legible handwriting.

October 1945

Ever since Dr. Erkskine enhanced me with that syrum I haven't been doing anything I'd hoped. I wanted to be in the front lines, doing good. But instead I've been a chorus girl, a dancing monkey. All it is is selling bonds and dancing on stage...

Ending that entry short, Bucky skipped ahead to the next page. He strofe out of the bedroom and to the kitchen table, resting his feet on another chair next to him.

November 1945

He's gone. Bucky's gone. I tried to reach, to grasp his hand but when the bar started to let loose...

I wake up with nightmares at night and during the day I try to forget what happened. I wish there was a way to go back and fix it, to prevent him from falling.

My head keeps thinking, "How am I going to live without him. He was my best friend, my hero" But the only thing I can do to respect him and his death is to kill every Hydra agent and Red Skull and I won't stop until it is done.

Bucky smiled at Steve's kind words. He never knew how much Steve cared about him. It warmed Bucky to a loving feeling and it felt good. Bucky then flipped ahead a few pages and stopped on the most recent entry.

August 2014

Bucky's living with me now, for the past two months he has. When I found him alone and on the streets I couldn't just leave him.

Now that he's home where he's supposed to be, Bucky seems happier, more at peace. It seems he can live with himself. And now, so can I. I'd never want to lose him again. After all the things we've been through it's a very pleasant, much needed miracle that we've been reunited.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Tonight was lovely, Steve. Thank you."

Standing outside both Rebekah and Steve's door, they made small talk. It had been a long night for each of them, but they enjoyed it all.

"Anytime." Steve's grin was coy and light.

For a small moment they gazed at each other. His brilliant blue eyes stared into her emerald green ones. The spce between them slowly closed to nothing and that's when the softness of their lips met. The kiss was delicate and sweet for the both of them, it was almost too soft.

They both broke away, feeling a small, internal, eletrical shock between each other. Steve hadn't felt that in a long time, ever since Peggy Carter kissed him. Now, the feeling was just beginning to be rekindled.

"Goodnight, Steve." Rebekah whispered in his ear and vanished into her home.

For a moment, Steve just stood there, smiling and staring at her door. He turned towards his own door, unlocking it and stepping through.

"Hey, Bucky, I''m home," Steve announced, but heard no response. "Bucky?"

Setting down his phone and keys, Steve carefully walked through the apartment. He heard stuttered breahting, sniffling and the rustling of papers and followed that to where Bucky was sitting.

He was hunched over the table, reading police reports, newspaper articles and papers written on the Winter Soldier. Turning to Steve, Bucky simply cried more, tears running down his face. Bucky tried to breathe evenly, but the guilty feeling refused to let him.

With the pain and guilt welling inside him, Bucky managed to mutter, "Why were you keeping secrets from me?"

A/N

AH! So much to cover!

1) I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING EVERY WEEKEND! School has started again and it was extremely stressful. But I will try to get it back on track.

2) I PROMISE IT'S COMING! Stucky is coming. (Incase you couldn't tell. *cough cough*)

Dedication goes to Sebastian_Stan_4ever!

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