A Poison I Drink Often(Sterek)

I'm right here

Derek listened to the steady thrum of Stiles heartbeat as he lay next to the human. Stiles had fallen asleep shortly after telling Derek about the bank heist that got him the week off. It wasn't as exciting as the bartender had made it out to be when she mentioned it to Derek, of course it could have been Stiles down playing it. He had a habit of doing that when he was doing something good. He never gave himself enough credit.

Derek's eyes opened at the sound of Stiles' heartrate picking up. It continued to quicken. Derek could smell the stress as Stiles gripped at the sheets harshly. He sat up checking to see if Stiles was awake. The human's eyes were clenched shut with a crease set between his eyebrows.

The smell of salt hit Derek's nose as Stiles started to sweat.

"Stiles," Derek touched Stiles' arm gently, trying to wake him.

He didn't move.

"Stiles," Derek shook his slightly harder.

"Hmm?" Stiles hummed, though his eyes didn't open.

"It's just a nightmare, I'm here," Derek spoke gently, running his hand gently along Stiles' arm.

The crease smoothed out and his heartrate slowed slightly.

Derek settled back into the bed, keeping his hand on the human next to him.

Three hours later Derek was awoken by Stiles crying out his name. Derek jerked up in the bed, reaching for the human instinctively.

"Stiles."

"Derek, please, please, no," Stiles cried. Sweat was dripping down his temple, his hair already soaked in it. He was gripping the bed so tightly his hands were shaking.

"Stiles," Derek carefully grabbed Stiles' arm.

This caused the human to bolt up in bed, Derek's name falling from his lips in a desperate plea.

"Hey, I'm right here," Derek reached out, placing a comforting hand on Stiles' back.

Stiles collapsed into Derek's chest with a sob that resembled his name.

"I'm right here. I've got you," Derek held Stiles against him, letting the human cry it out.

When Stiles stopped shaking and his crying had mostly diminished into sniffles, Derek leaned down to speak.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It was you," Stiles answered, his tone a broken whisper, "He took you from me."

Derek clenched his eyes shut, hearing the vulnerability in Stiles' voice and the word choice he used, it hurt him.

"I'm right here, I promise, I'm not going anywhere. No one is going to take me from you," Derek caressed Stiles' damp hair as he spoke.

"Thank you for being here," Stiles said after a moment.

"Of course." Derek was just glad Stiles was letting him be there.

"Can I get you anything?" Derek offered.

Stiles shook his head, "Please don't leave."

Derek held Stiles tighter before pulling the younger man down, laying them both in the middle of the bed.

Stiles didn't pull away, instead he let Derek hold him until he fell asleep again.

-

The next morning when Stiles woke, he was still wrapped in Derek's arms, his head buried in the alpha's chest.

"Morning," Derek spoke when Stiles pulled back slightly.

"You're already awake," Stiles noted. Derek hadn't gotten up.

"I didn't want you to wake up alone," Derek said as he watched Stiles sat up.

It was in that moment Stiles realized that he hadn't had another nightmare, at least not that he could remember.

"Are you okay?" Derek asked with Stiles didn't respond.

"It only happened once," Stiles looked down at the alpha.

"What?" Derek sat up then, a confused frown on his face.

"I had only remember one nightmare," Stiles couldn't remember the last time his night wasn't riddled with nightmare after nightmare.

"I'm guessing that doesn't happen often?" Derek asked trying to hide the pleased smiled tugging at his lips. He loved that he made Stiles' night easier.

Stiles shook his head before glancing at the clock, "I would offer to make you breakfast as a thank you, but I have to get ready for work."

Derek watched as Stiles peeled off his shirt and headed for his bathroom. He let out a heavy sigh. He'd imagined waking up next to Stiles like this, granted he'd prefer if it were under better circumstances, but it was just as satisfying as he thought it would be. Lying with a sleeping Stiles in his arms as the sun streamed through the window. Watching Stiles get ready for work as he stayed in the bed, wrapped in Stiles' scent.

Derek took in a deep breathe, allowing Stiles' scent to relax him. He'd been able to help keep the nightmares at bay. That fact elated him.

Stiles let the hot water wash off the stale sweat feeling left over from the night before. The memory of Derek holding him as he cried was still fresh in his mind. The tears had been mostly relief that someone was there and not just anyone but Derek. He hadn't dreamt of Stiles' demise in years. Those nightmares had always been the hardest. Watching the person you love most be taken from you, then waking alone, not knowing if they were okay or if you'd ever see them again. And Derek had laid awake in bed holding Stiles until he woke just so he didn't wake up alone. A familiar warmth spread through his chest. He was falling in love with Derek again.

Stiles dropped his head in shame even though there was no one to judge him. He'd sworn to never feel for someone the way he felt for Derek and now here he was feeling that way for Derek, again. It would only prove to hurt him, Derek would never return his feelings. Besides, Stiles was far too broken, he would only make Derek miserable.

Stiles let out a heavy sigh. He didn't know what to do about it. If he pulled away from Derek now, he might spiral, and he couldn't afford that, not with the captain keeping such a close watch on him. He would just have to learn how to live with his unrequited feelings like he had so many years before. It would just be harder when the man he loved was half naked in his bed, holding him while he slept. 

*AN*
A little Sterek softness for ya.