A Poison I Drink Often(Sterek)

Important

Stiles laid next to Derek, wide awake. He was so overly aware of his surroundings he couldn't sleep. Derek was awake as well as far as Stiles could tell. The pair were laying awkwardly next to each other. It had been more natural the night before. Perhaps it was because of Stiles' state of mind.

"You're just hyper aware of how much you want him to be touching you," Allison taunted from the end of the bed.

Stiles closed his eyes willing her away.

"He just doesn't see you like that. If anything, he only sees you as the annoying little brother he feels bad for."

Stiles held his breath as the brunette continued to taunt him about his feelings for the alpha.

"Stiles?" Derek's tone was concerned. He'd noticed Stiles' breathing pick up.

Stiles opened his eyes to see the brunette was gone.

A gentle touch on his arm cause him to jump.

"Sorry," Derek released him instantly.

"No, it's okay," Stiles wanted to kick himself.

"I wanted to make sure you were alright," Derek debated on putting his hand back on the human but opted not to.

"I don't understand why she won't leave me alone," Stiles sighed out in frustration.

"What...what does she say?"

"It depends. It usually pertains to my situation at the time," Stiles answered honestly. He knew he could tell Derek the truth and he would understand.

"Is she saying anything right now?"

"Not since we started talking," Stiles shook his head. It was dark but he knew Derek could see him.

"What was she saying?" Derek asked gently, like he was afraid asking that might upset Stiles.

"Just how you were only here because you saw me as this annoying little brother figure you felt bad for," Stiles left off the part about his feelings for the alpha.

Derek sat up then and clicked on his side table lamp. His expression was serious.

Stiles sat up as well, unsure of what was coming.

"Stiles, listen to me. I swear to you that you mean more to me than anyone on this entire earth. You are absolutely one of the most important people I've ever met. I'm thankful to even be apart of your life again. I don't ever want you to think I see you as anything less than what you are. You are my pack mate and my best friend. Being here with you is all I want," Derek's hand reached out to touch Stiles' cheek gently.

"Why?" Stiles found himself asking as he leaned into Derek's touch.

"Why what?" Derek asked with a frown.

"If I'm so important, why'd you leave?" Stiles' tone was quiet.

"To be honest..." Derek sighed, pulling his hand away, "I was afraid."

It was Stiles' turn to frown.

"I almost lost you and it really did a number on me. I realized during that time that...you had become my anchor," Derek spoke quietly, his eyes locked on his hands that here clasped together in his lap, "I panicked. The last time I let someone too close..." Derek trailed off.

Stiles felt the air in his chest compress in his lungs, making it hard to breathe. He'd been Derek's anchor?

"I thought distancing myself from you would work but I couldn't so long as you were around. When I was sure you were safe, I left. I was miserable for a long time, but I told myself it was for the best. That night when I saw you..." Derek trailed off again.

Stiles put a hand on Derek's cautiously, causing the alpha to look up.

"I didn't think you'd miss me the way I did you. If I'd known, I'd never have left. You have to believe that," Derek's tone was almost pleading.

"I do," Stiles nodded, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Thank you for trusting me to be here for you. I've never really felt like I belonged anywhere, but here with you, I'm home," Derek hadn't meant to say that, it just kind of slipped out.

Stiles reached over, wrapping his arms around Derek.

The alpha buried his nose in Stiles' neck as he held the human close.

"We should get some sleep," Stiles said then, pulling back. Speaking of home reminded him that he would be going home tomorrow, and he wanted to look as well rested as possible.

The two laid back down. After a few moments of silence between the pair, Derek spoke up.

"Can I hold you?" his voice was a whisper.

"Please," Stiles whispered back.

The human closed his eyes at the feel of Derek's strong arm wrap around him, his chest pressing against his back. This is where he felt safest. Like nothing and no one could get to him while he was in Derek's arms.

Derek breathed in Stiles' scent as he held him close. It was clear they both needed this. He just dreaded the day Stiles wouldn't need him anymore.

Stiles slept soundly in Derek's arms that night. And for the first time in a long time, the nightmares stayed away.

*AN*
Tiny update for ya!