A Poison I Drink Often(Sterek)

Not at liberty to say

Stiles woke the next morning alone. He sat up and looked at the clock on his side table. Ten a.m. The sound of faint laughter caught his attention. His dad's laughter. Stiles threw the covers back and made his way down the stairs to find Derek sitting with his dad at the kitchen table.

"Stiles, you sleep alright, son?" Noah asked looking up from his coffee cup.

"Yeah," Stiles nodded with a smile. He was thrilled that that was actually true. He'd noticed that so long as he fell asleep next to Derek, he would actually sleep well. The nightmares stayed away too.

"Great, I promised Scott we'd be over by noon. We're gonna have lunch at Melissa's house," The sheriff smiled excitedly.

Dread washed over Stiles as he forced a smile of his own, "I'll go shower then."

Stiles had barely made it to his room when he heard Derek coming up the stairs behind him.

"Stiles," Derek paused in the doorway.

"Sorry about leaving last night after you fell asleep, I didn't want your dad to get the wrong idea," Derek looked apologetic.

"Oh," Stiles frowned, "I didn't know you left."

"Are you okay?" Derek dared ask. He could smell the anxiety Stiles was feeling but decided to give Stiles the option to talk about it if he wanted to.

"I'm just not sure I'm ready to see Scott. I'm not gonna be able to hide this from him," Stiles shook his head before running a hand through his hair.

"How have you done it in the past?" Derek asked taking a step towards Stiles.

"I'm pretty sure he's used to smelling anxiety on me, but it's such a short trip I can usually manage. Being here with the prospect of losing my job..." Stiles ran another hand through his hair, pulling at the strands this time, "I'm not gonna be able to hide it. When it comes to answering questions without him knowing I'm lying, I have gotten pretty good about manipulating my answers to fit the truth. Like if he asks how I've been, I just respond with busy. It's not a lie but it doesn't really answer his question, ya know?" He shrugged looking up at Derek in shame.

"That's actually really smart," Derek smiled at the human in front of him, "We can use that. I can control my heartbeat so he doesn't know I'm lying. I'll do the talking about me being in custody and you just be careful how you answer questions. We'll get through this, Stiles. I promise," Derek touched Stiles' arm gently. He wanted to pull the human into him but refrained. He felt it was best to let Stiles initiate that type of touch.

"What if I see Allison?" Stiles cut his eyes to the chair he'd seen the girl in the night before.

"Find me. If you need to step out, you can. Use that grounding method."

"It would be easier if people thought we were dating so it wouldn't arise any suspicion when I reached out and grabbed your hand," Stiles let out a frustrated huff.

"It's not too late," Derek shrugged, eyeing Stiles slightly.

"Nobody's gonna believe that," Stiles scoffed turning away.

Derek's jaw clenched.

"I'm gonna hop in the shower, I'll see you down stairs," The human closed himself in the bathroom before Derek could respond.

-

Derek sat quietly in the back of the car while Stiles and the Sheriff talked. He noticed the fake smile and over exaggerated mannerisms and it hurt him. Stiles was good at pretending, too good. It made Derek think back to when he'd first met the human. How much of what he'd seen was pretend? Stiles had always been a high anxiety person, but he'd always been cheery and outgoing. Sure, he'd also been distrusting and guarded but that only showed through when it really mattered. It was one of the things Derek had grown to love about Stiles. It was what let Stiles understand Derek so well.