un contrat de mariage

RECIPROCATION

{MAHIR}
"Thomas how dare you force her to not sign the proposition papers!?", I shout at him.
I feel him wincing, "MS! I didn't force her...it was her choice."
"Oh! So you are innocent!!", I swear my phone would burst open.
"MS! Take in deep breath...I'll explain you..!"
"Okay say it out...!", I snapped at him.
"When I went to take the signed papers, I found that she hasn't signed them yet. I just asked her to reconsider the relationship between you both. She had doubt on getting separated from you. Had she really wanted the separation, she would have not hesitated a bit! But she was hesitant. Sensing this, I asked her to take her time. I asked her to observe you and that equation between you both. And if she thinks it will work out, she shouldn't break the relationship.", I heaved a sigh.
"Thomas! You have met her just twice...she would do anything to keep her people happy...and for that, she won't think twice in staying for this marriage.", I said, agreeing on my words.
"MS! Probably she too has some feelings for you.. you never know... you can't just lose hope.", He said with enthusiasm.
"Thomas...she told me right now that she didn't sign because you, Marsha and grandad told her to do so! There was no love! I don't want to hold her, because she has no other option.", My voice was coming out cracked.
"MS! I am a lawyer...I everyday come across people who break and reconcile. But believe me, marriage and divorces are decisions for life. No one would do anything just because they were influenced by others, knowing that the decision can make their own lives hell!"
I smiled, "She can do! She can do! And see the irony, I love her for this...."
"MS... there's definitely more than you're seeing!", He said and I disconnected the call.

I don't want vague hopes for love, when I know she can never fall for a person like me.
She even doubted me to the extent that I can kill her grandad. That leaves no window for me to her heart.

I was on cloud nine knowing that we both are still connected, even when that's a single lifeless string.

I lie down on the bed as my eyes fall on the appealing potrait in front of my eyes.
Her black, brown eyes speaking volumes. Her brown hair locks doing wonders framing her face.
Her beautiful, rosy lips curved in a beautiful smile. A smile that can make anyone smile back at her. And guess what!? I did smile.
This was not just one potrait, I had countless here. In this room, where she lived once.
Her essence, her touch, her feel still lingered in this room. And it's the same I thought lacks the luxury like mine below!
But damn! It had all the luxury of life....I would ever want.

I shook my head at her and probably myself too and now my eyes fall on the side table.
That pink coloured coffee mug, with 'BORN TO LOVE', written on it in red. A marker used to autograph her own name below the caption.
That light lip shade, on the rim.
The same cup, in which we drank coffee together, for the first time.

Her love for wind chimes was the one, he noticed after she left. In her office room, there were five six beautiful wind chimes, which I brought here, to savior them deep in my heart. As the wind blows in, they tingle and draw my attention towards them.

The vanity table, having her used accessories. Her perfumes, her earrings, her lipsticks, her eyeshadows, her pendants, her chains, her wrist watches, everything that I asked her to buy so as to match my wife's standards.
How foolish I was...it was me who had to reform to make myself match her standards. Still I stand below her!!

How generous can she be, to not sign papers just because she wanted to keep everyone else's heart.
Every night I prayed that everything turns out to be a dream, and I wake up finding her sleeping beside me, because of her Phobia. I wanted to be her husband as badly as a monk desires salvation! I wanted her beside me as much as a body wants soul.
But I never had the heart to get her when she isn't loving me. When all she wants is happiness of others and not her own.
She may be selfless enough to think of others, but I very selfish to think of only her!