forget me not

six (edited)

apparently gemma believes that a concert will get me out of my head so much that she's taking me to one. harry's.

"just before my... panic attack, sorry about that by the way. i ruined your phone call. anyways, right before, you were talking to harry. i didn't mean to listen in but who was he so concerned about you bringing?" i ask while she curls my brown hair.

"oh, that? he was just nervous. he thought i was gonna bring his ex girlfriend. not a good idea considering there's gonna be fans recording and stuff. we were friends so he thought i meant her." she explains.

this time my witches intuition informed me that she was indeed telling me the truth. "i'm nervous." i tell her. "why? because of harry? your one direction crush?" she teases. "leave me alone. you can't blame me. he was the cutest one." i tell her.

"blech. that's my brother!" she exclaims. "i know! and he's really pretty!" i say laughing. "want me to set you up with him?" she suggests. "i can't tell if you're joking or not." i tell her. "partially."

she had somehow managed to get me to look like a normal girl. she dressed me up in a navy blue satin dress that had loose sleeves and a cuff at the wrist. it went to just above my knee, had a high, straight cut neck, and a navy ribbon across the waist that matched the one with my hair that she had curled.

i had done the bare minimum when i came to makeup, but even with the extra help i still looked empty. pretty (if you like romanticizing depression) but still empty.

i didn't get cold feet when it came to going because that implies that i wanted to go in the first place. before, i would've killed to witness this. now, gemma has held my hand and lead me into the theatre while i kept my head down.

there was a private section, just as harry had told her over the phone, and we were so close to the stage that my heart raced at the thought of harry being so close to me.

weird. quite frankly i haven't felt a feeling like that for all of the 20 months of sadness. it's all be painful, whether it was dull or pigmented. but now... now i was nervous. but not in an anxiety attack way. in a 'wow this is so surreal' way.

the theatre was empty besides the people working there, and i felt out of place as people started coming out and testing microphones. "hazza!" gemma exclaims, motivating my sad eyes to glance at him walking closer to us on stage.

when he saw me his eyes widened and he stumbled slightly. "gemma can i speak to you in my dressing room for a moment?" he asks politely with a stern undertone. i tried my best to read his expression as gemma stood but it was near impossible.

his eyes hit her like knives as they walked away, and he didn't dare to look my way again. have i done something wrong? was i the one she wasn't supposed to bring? no... my witches intuition said she was being honest when she told me it was another girl.

my brain fogged up with thoughts again and the anxiety came rushing back to me. the good nerves quickly turned sour. should i just get up and leave? gemma's gone, i could sneak out... no. this is good for me. if i'm gonna learn to live like this i need to be able to do while being a normal member of society.

g e m m a ' s
p o i n t
o f
v i e w . . .

"you brought her here!" harry yelled angrily at me. i decided to let him yell. if we need to fight in order so sort this out then so be it. "i asked you to take care of her, not ruin everything! do you know how hard it's been without her? do you know what i felt when i saw her with you?"

"harry don't be selfish. hear me out. do you love her?"

(704 words)