forget me not

eleven (edited)

it's currently monday night, but back on saturday (after the pancakes incident) i went out to the shops with harry. he was nervous, and to be honest so was i. but why would he be nervous? i'm the one one with a logical reason.

due to or nerves for the most part we just stood in content silence. it wasn't awkward between us like with a new friend... or whatever we are. it was almost as if we knew each other in a past life. there was no need to be awkward. it felt like we had already gotten acquainted with each other a long time ago.

tonight was different though. not in the sense that we were actually talking, but it still felt different. we were all huddled up on our little pull out couch in front of the telly, watching a movie i was no where near close to paying attention to.

there were three of us (including harry, the tall one) sitting on the makeshift couch bed that was meant to sleep no more than two people. yet, here we are, cramped together, in the most comfortable sense possible.

because of this, harry had no room for his arms, so the one on gemma's side was coming around the back of the couch, while to one on my side rested on my shoulder, while his thumb grazed back and forth on the bare skin it found it's way onto. my god. i love him so much.

i turned to look at him slightly, trying not to make myself look to obvious, and i watched his eyes glow in the light of the t.v. screen. his skin looked smooth and his hair look soft, and his chest looked so warm and inviting.

if i fall asleep, i'll get to stay out here with harry. i was very fond of this idea. there was a chance that he'd wake me up at the end of the film, but there was only one way to find out. truthfully, if i let myself, i could easily be asleep within the next ten minutes.

i gently turned my body towards him, trying not to disrupt their focus. i started by placing my check on harry shoulder, and looking up at him, awaiting his reaction. his head turned to me and he looked at me with a smile.

step two, wrapping my arm around harry's middle. check. now it was his turn, and he took the arm that was on gemma's side (resting on the back of the couch) and placed his hand on my upper arm before turning back to smile at me again. no need to abort mission. so far so good.

now, finally allowing myself to doze off, the last and final step was moving my head onto harry's chest instead of his shoulder, and to my surprise, he responded by taking the arm wrapped around my shoulder, and moving it down to my torso. now i could sleep, and finally, feel at peace for the first time since i've been heartbroken.

h a r r y ' s
p o i n t
o f
v i e w

as she sleeps in my arms i can't help but mentally jump for joy. i haven't been able to touch her (besides the handshake on friday night) since the night we erased her memory of me.

unfortunately this meant that i'm still in love with her, and she has no idea who i am besides harry styles, and her roommates brother. i have to admit i'm more than relieved knowing that she likes me enough to want to be this close to me again.

i've been craving this sort of interaction with her for over a year, and it's been ever harder staying in the same flat as her and now being able to act the way we did when we were together.

"harry... what are we going to do?" gemma asks, now that the movie is over. "i don't know." i answer truthfully. i have no idea what we're going to do. she's miserable and i don't know how to fix it.

plus, hypothetically, if she falls in love with me again like gemma wants, how am i supposed to keep lying to her? am i supposed to come clean and tell her the truth? beatrice took the potion for a reason. she wanted to forget me for a reason.

if i ruin that and she decides she doesn't want to remember, she'd have to go through the whole miserable forgetting process again. but for now, i'm content keeping her here in my arms all night while gemma leaves to sleep on her own.

(784 words)