In the summer rain [NARCOS] ON HOLD

XII

"Flight 104 to Bogotá now boarding"

Lucia picked up her bag and turned to her mother with a hesitant smile on her face. Her eyes were tired and sad, but she thought, no, she knew, she needed to return to get the job done. Without her information the DEA was one step behind in the fight making her understand her importance to the greater cause.

"I don't know if I can do this... Mom, I-" Lucia started to re-think her choice to go back to Bogotá but her mother shook her head, resting her hands on her daughters arms in comfort. Her mother rubbed her shoulders, down her arms as if she were a masseuse. It was pure comfort in a time of indescribable need.

"You go and show everyone that you're capable of doing this job. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise." She reminded her but Lucia shook her head. Lucia's eyes darting away from her mother before returning with a look of guilt. It was difficult. Everything was difficult.

"No it's not that I don't think I'm capable. I don't know if I can see him and not fall back in love with him. After everything I just want something good but I can't seem to keep it."

"Here." Lucia's mother picked up Lucia's bag and extended the handle on her suitcase. Pushing it out of her arms, handing it off to Lucia who gently took it in one of her own.

"Everything will happen for a reason. If somehow the universe says that this man is right for you, then it won't interfere with the job and he will love you for you. If it's not, it's not meant to be. But you need to make sure you have the confidence in yourself to let people in so it can happen. Communicate with him. Listen to his concerns while you tell him your own. It helps more than you think it will."

Lucia hugged her mother tightly. She was always better with her words than Lucia had ever been and it brought solace that someone believed in her, her abilities, and her future. Without another glance, Lucia boarded the plane and jetted off to Bogotá. As soon as the plane landed, the air was thick, dense, as if rain was the smallest relief to its problems. The embassy was alerted Lucia was returning and had a car pick her up to take her to the new building they designated for their employees. The apartments were larger than she was used to but she felt somewhat safe in the area they picked. It was constantly under surveillance therefore the likelihood of anyone uninvited getting into the building was slim to none.

Lucia wasn't sure if Steve or Javier lived in the same building, she assumed yes but didn't see any cars out front that would tell her she was right, though it was likely they could be out or still at the office. When she entered the building a guard greeted her, informing her of the buildings rules and what protections the government implicated for their safety. He handed her a pair of keys with the number 205 on them and motioned to the stairs at the end of the hall.

"Apartments are furnished. One of the agents packed up your residence and moved it into the building. If you have any questions or request anything, let any of the security staff know."

"Thank you." She told them and sodded off to her new apartment only blocks away from the agency.

As the guard said, when she opened the door she was met with several boxes stacked in the entry way. It was slim, leaving little room for passage but she managed and slipped into the apartment she could safely call home. It was quite nice, she had to admit to herself. The government didn't cheapen their living for the sake of saving a few of Uncle Sam's precious dollars.

The living room consisted of a sofa and pair of chairs, a small tv and table. The kitchen was off to the left in its own cocoon beside the dining space. A small hallway to her left held a bathroom and two bedrooms, one of which was designated for office space at home. With the exploration of her new home, Lucia rolled her luggage to her room and unpacked the clothes that were clean and separated the dirty. She continued to unpack and moved to the boxes in the entry way to kill the time.

Lucia underestimated how quickly time passes. She pulled out her record player, putting on her favorite album and let the time pass. Suddenly the room fell dark and the sun had set, leaving realize she was hungry, tired, and alone on that night. Lucia pulled the blinds when making her way to the kitchen, opening the fridge to find nothing inside except an ice tray in the freezer. She sighed to herself and ran a distressed hand over her face.

By the grace of some mysterious force, maybe God, Lucia was never too sure about that, a knock sounded at her door. Hesitant to open it, Lucia remembered the staff and the types of people that lived there. Agents, staff, protected by the US government to fight the war against drugs without getting killed. Or so they hoped.

Lucia gripped the door handle before pulling it open. Her mother would be giddy in her boots if she saw who was on the other side. She couldn't muster up the courage to say anything. She didn't know for sure if he even lived there. She didn't even know how he knew she was back.

"Hi." He muttered. His eyes darted everywhere. The floor, the door frame, the boxes behind her and then finally her own. Her breath stopped for a moment before she mentally slapped herself for being ridiculous. He's just a man! she thought.

"Hi." She responded and there was a pregnant pause between them. The building was quiet, sans the record that played in the background.

"Was the flight alright?"

"Yes, it was fine."

"Good." Again, another pause. It had been days, weeks since they last spoke and he was unabashedly ousted from the airport as a result. Javier was a confident man, but as much as he wanted to believe the incident left him un-embarrassed, his pride was definitely tainted.

"Steve and I packed your things. I don't think we forget anything, so if we did, sorry about that."

"I haven't found anything unusual yet."

"Are you hungry? I just got some take out and I um-" Javier cleared his throat mid sentence and Lucia knew what he was trying to do. It's what her mother warned her to do, to talk about what happened. Clear the room and apologize, understand one another to move forward.

"Sure. Bring it over and we can talk." She answered him without allowing him to finish the question. Be the bigger person. Act like an adult and do this the right way.

"Ok." Javier nodded his head a little too frantically, darting off to his apartment which happened to be right across the hall and back again. She held open the door, allowing him to slip passed her. The entry way was crowded, tight as she closed the door and brushed passed him to show him to the dining room. He settled in a chair, the bag of Chinese food slightly soaked with oil resting on top of the table.

Lucia grabbed two glasses from a box labeled "fragile kitchen" and the bottle of whiskey that was packed next to it. She took a seat across from him at the table and he didn't move much as she pushed a glass toward him. He looked down at it, his eyes finding hers once more when they returned upwards. The way his hair fell into his face was a distraction to her cause. He was just so handsome.

The way his white shirt was cuffed at the sleeves and the first two buttons were undone. The way his face almost brightened when he realized she was behind the door of 205. The way his eyes now found her own and looked apologetic, looked like he hurt as much as his words hurt her. The way she felt her heart thump louder, heavier, at the idea of him loving her and showing her that he loved her. The way her hand was shaking slightly with nerves as she realized she was so deeply in love with him she couldn't contain those feelings anymore.

The way she wanted to be loved by him was more than anything Pablo Escobar could have offered. It was everything and more than what Gustavo had given her. She loved Javier with every bone in her body, so in order for him to understand that she would never, in a million or a billion years, never, betray him, Steve, or the country she served, those feelings needed to be voiced.

"Lucia-"

"I think we should talk."