Dyosa in Disguise

Chapter 45: Aftermath

Chapter 45: Aftermath

I was living a simple yet happy life in the province but then the mayor's son blackmailed into marrying him. I had to leave  home, run and hide. While I was hiding, I met a guy. I hated him at first but I fell in love with him eventually. I thought he loved me too but boy, he only played me for a fool. Now I got my heart broken and was left with nothing.

Para akong isang lobo na nabitawan ng isang bata. Kahit ayaw kong lumipad palayo ay tinangay ako ng hangin. The journey was awful in the beginning but when the harsh  wind stopped blowing, I saw clouds and rainbows and stars. It was so beautiful.

Ako ang lobo. Si Kley ang langit.  Lumipad ako ng lumipad. Naging masaya ako. Kinalimutan ko na ang lobong katulad ko ay hindi nakalaan para sa langit.

Binigay ko lahat para mas tumaas pa ang lipad ko pero sa huli  pumutok ako at gutay-gutay na bumagsak sa lupa.

Sana nakinig na lang ako sa sinabi ni Coleen. Sana ay hindi ko binigay ang lahat. Gutay-gutay na ako.

My heart is broken and I lost my freaking virginity.

Huli na para magsisi.
Nangyari na ang nangyari. Hindi na mababawi ang mga nawala.

Ano pa ba ang magagawa ko kundi ang hayaan ang sarili ko na umiyak ng umiyak. Kasi ang sakit. Sobrang sakit.

****

For the nth time, Madi glanced at me. We were inside his car, on the way to the university. It was the first day of class.

I know that Madi wanted to talk to me. He was clearly worried. Alam ko marami siyang tanong tungkol sa aming dalawa ni Kley, tungkol sa nangyari kagabi, tungkol sa kung paano ako humantong sa ganitong desisyon. Higit sa lahat alam kong gusto niyang itanong kung ano ang nararamdaman ko o kung ayos lang ba ako. But he was refraining himself from asking. He was respecting my silence. He was waiting for me to talk to him kapag handa na ako.

Not that he didn't try to talk to me at all. They actually did, he and Coleen. Last night, when I left Kley kneeling on the corridor and went inside the condo unit, agad akong sinalubong ng maraming tanong ni Coleen.

Bakit? Paano? Sino? Ano?

Wala ni isa man sa mga tanong niya ang nasagot ko. I couldn't say a single word. Ang tanging lumalabas lang sa labi ko ay mga hikbi habang ang mga mata ko ay walang tigil sa pagluha. The pain was too much all I coud do was cry.

In the end, Madi and Coleen stopped talking and asking questions. They just stayed beside me and held my hands. Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal na umiyak. Hindi ko na rin namalayan kung kailan ako nakatulog.

Kaninang umaga, nagising na lang ako sa kama. Sa una, akala ko panaginip lang ang nangyari kagabi pero hindi. Unti-unting bumalik sa akin ang katotohan na pinaglaruan lang ako ni Kley. The odd but nevertheless  good thing was even though everything that had happened last night flodded my mind, my heart didn't ache and my eyes didn't water.

Hanggang sa bumangon ako, naligo at nag-ayos ay wala akong maramdaman na kahit ano. Tila ba namanhid ang buo kong pagkatao.

I didn't exactly know what was happening to me. Is it a phase of moving on? Natural lang bang maging manhid ang isang tao ilang oras matapos mawasak ang puso nito? Or maybe God took pity on me and decided to take away my pain. Kahit ano pa ang dahilan, mabuti na rin na ganito ako. Mas nakakapag-isip ako ng maayos.

Nang handa na ako para pumasok ay lumabas ako ng kwarto para dala ang bag ko. Agad kong nakita si Madi sa kusina na abalang naghahanda ng almusal.

Gulat at pag-aalala ang unang rumehistro sa mukha niya nang makita niya ako. But instead of attacking me with questions he just simply said that the breakfast was ready and that I should eat. He also told me that he and Coleen slept in the condo. Na umuwi lang si Coleen kaninang umaga para magbihis.