Boundaries (girlxgirl)

At Arms Length

      

      Haley was now on winter break and was driving home to visit her family up north. She reflected on the text Tess sent which said, "Thank you for the beautiful  flowers they definitely turned my day around. I owe you BIG TIME." She sent that four weeks ago and she hasn't been heard from her since. If she wasn't going to give any attention to her she wouldn't give her any attention back. A notification on Haley's phone went of letting her know she had an email from who other than the princess herself. She sent an email saying Happy Holidays which made the blood in Haley's veins boil. "What game is she playing at? It's like a game of tug of war and she's dragging my ass through the mud," Haley scoffed. If there was one thing she was good at it's self-awareness. She knew Tess was under her skin and that she was feeling cynical and irritated about the whole situation. Without responding, she turned on the radio, sang along to Christmas carols and decided to push any thought of Tess away. Maybe being  mad at her would help her stop feeling the way she did.

      This Christmas was going to be special since Haley got to see her niece and nephew again after not seeing them for a year. She loved kids, and she loved those two more than anything. Forget needing to go the the gym, Haley was going to have enough workouts between holding the kids and letting them climb all over her. The whole family was together sharing stories and enjoying home cooked meals and of course, the floor was decorated with bows and wrapping paper. This was the perfect Christmas, so why did Haley feel like there was something missing? She quickly dismissed the thought knowing that she didn't like the answer that was coming to mind. She wanted to spend the last 2 days of her vacation being in the moment with those she loved most. She took the kids outside to build their first snowman, but that didn't last long as it turned into a snowball fight. When the kids went down for a nap, Haley and her step brother hit the slopes for some snowboarding. There was nothing quite like shredding the snow and feeling the wind against your face while you go down the hill.

      Haley returned home for New Year's Eve and was planning on attending a party at the Renaissance with her friend Joey and his wife. Haley hated being the third wheel, but Joey commented,  "There will be plenty of good looking women there looking for someone to kiss at midnight. Plus, it's free alcohol so your chances are even better." She punched him in the arm as they both laughed. She was looking forward to the evening hoping she'd run into someone she'd actually enjoy the company of, or  perhaps it was something deeper.  Perhaps there was a part of her that knew Tess could be at the party given that the host was a mutual friend.

      "Damn my boobs look nice in this dress," Haley thought. It wasn't typical for her to get dressed up like this In fact, it happened maybe once or twice a year. She was more of a dress pants and a button up kind of girl. Joey and Haley had been friends since undergrad. He had tried to make a move on her before finding out she was into women. This made his wife nervous, but Haley had tried to gain her friendship over the years to get her to trust her. Abby's jaw hit the floor when she saw Haley. This time Joey found himself being jealous of how his wife responded to how Haley looked. Neither of them had ever seen her really dress up. "I might be kissing someone else tonight honey, Abby said sarcastically to her husband. The three of them got along great and it was going to be an even better night.

      Haley's drink of choice  was a sweet red wine. The party room was decorated in blue and silver and overlooked a frozen lake. The snow began to fall and reflected off the outside lights, making the room brighter. She had been having conversations here and there but not with anyone she found herself interested in. It was time for another glass as the clock hit quarter to twelve. Haley was feeling tipsy at this point and felt herself feeling giddy and wanting to sing, but she couldn't ring in the new year without another glass if she wasn't going to have someone to kiss. The bar was crowded, but she found a spot at the end to slide her way through. At the same time she got there, another woman seemed to have the same idea. Haley was ready to call her out when Tess handed her a glass of the same wine she had been drinking all night. If someone gets you a drink they're typically interested, right?

      Tess had seen Haley order the wine a couple of hours earlier. Haley took notice at the space, or better yet, the lack of space between them. Sure the bar was crowded, but Tess had some room to back up and she didn't. She tried to say something to Haley, but the bar was next to the speakers so she couldn't hear what she said. Haley desperately wanted something stronger at this point as she felt her anger with Tess turn right back into desire. Was it the alcohol making her feel like she was going to bump into her, or was Tess actually getting closer on purpose? She put her hand on Haley's arm and leaned in to whisper in her ear. Their chests were touching and Haley could tell her breathing rapidly increase. She suddenly felt Tess's breath on her ear as she said in almost a whisper, "I never thought I'd see you in a dress, you're gorgeous." Goosebumps spread over her body and she felt the warmth traveling between her legs. The countdown to midnight began, but Haley not wanting the moment to pass leaned back into Tess, putting her hand on her waist and whispering back in her ear, "You always look beautiful." For a moment Haley thought she heard a faint moan escape Tess's mouth. She leaned back and looked into Tess's eyes, feeling the alcohol really starting to hit her. As midnight struck Tess slid her hand down Haley's arm to grab her hand. She held onto her hand as she backed away, extending both of their arms as far as they could before she smiled and walked away. So close, yet so far away.