Boundaries (girlxgirl)

Roadblock

      Tess and Haley continued to get to know one another over the next few weeks leading into spring break. Haley had plans of going to on a road trip with her friends to the outer banks. Her friends knew Haley was seeing someone, but they had never seen a picture of Tess and didn't know how old she was. She wasn't sure how her friends were going to take it even though they had always been supportive. The only people who really knew was Jennifer and Angie. Tess was nervous thinking about Haley spending a week with all her friends that were all coincidentally lesbians as well. She was really starting to develop feelings for Haley and she found herself questioning what she could actually give her.

Haley's POV--

Go figure I'd get the short end of the stick and be the one driving. That's how my luck usually pans out. I was going to miss Tess, but I was excited to celebrate with my friends and relax after seven years of additional schooling. I hadn't been to the ocean in years since my family would take annual New Jersey trips back in junior high. The only thing I was swimming in anymore was my student debt and I couldn't wait to taste that salt water in my mouth and go deep sea fishing. The 8 hour drive was exhausting especially with 5 other girls in the car whose bladders were apparently not all on the same page since we stopped 3 times in the last 2 hours.

We finally arrived around 3 in the afternoon and checked into our rooms. We didn't waste any time throwing our suits on and walking to the beach which was just below our rooms. On our way, I texted Tess letting her know we were safe and seeing how her day was. She had worked with some difficult clients, which wasn't unusual in our field, but was planning on seeing her brother and sister-in-law for dinner to keep her mind off it.

Nina had brought rainbow towels for all of us and you could see us from a mile away. "Now all the ladies know where to come if they're single and interested," she said. We all laughed as Char started yelling, "calling all lesbians." As immature as it was I couldn't help but laugh. This group of friends was the complete opposite of me and were very extroverted, loud, and proud. They called me the "mom" of the group since I always gave advice and tried keeping them in line, but they were good for me. Their personalities were contagious and care free, something I wanted to lean how to be.

They were there for the chicks and drinks,  I was there for the sunsets and the water. Tess and I didn't get to talk much which I know left her disappointed because I found myself feeling bummed too. Our schedules just weren't matching up. She'd be at work during the day and by time we'd get home from being out at night, she'd be in bed. My friends and I were constantly being approached by women at the beach or in the bar and they were having the time of their lives. I was happy for them, but I missed my girl and I was tired of falling asleep to the sounds of sex noises. The following morning, Kat and I went deep sea fishing for the day. I took a pill for seasickness, but she was convinced she'd be fine saying she'd been on many cruises. A fishing boat in the ocean was nothing like a cruise ship. I spent my moneys worth catching Mackerel and she spent her time puking over the side and trying to fish at the same time. It wasn't a vacation without a few hiccups. Nina had posted pictures and videos to my social media while I was gone, tagging all of them so they could have them as well. As I looked through the pictures I couldn't help but think about how happy we all looked. It had definitely been a great experience.

Friday rolled around, the day before we were supposed to leave and Tess and I ended up having a conversation about our bucket list. She wants to travel, go scuba diving, hike the mountains, and learn to play the piano. I want to travel the world, move to Arizona, publish a book, and have 2-3 kids. We had never had a conversation like this before and I couldn't help but wonder where her head was at as she talked. I fell asleep to her voice on the phone and just remember her last words being "I'm sorry."

On our drive home my phone hadn't gone off all day except for an early morning text saying, "drive safe." I was over thinking the whole time before Char called me out for being too quiet. I decided now was the time to tell them exactly who Tess was. At first, they were kid of surprised by the age difference, but when I showed them a picture and told them she had been my professor, they cheered and threatened to steal her away if I ever messed things up. "How's that going to work when you have all of these things you want in life and she's past some of those experiences you haven't had" Jess questioned. My heart sank because I knew she was right. Did Tess even want to get married at her age, even more important, I want kids and she could no longer have any. Everyone began yelling at Kat for bringing me back down, but I found myself defending her because it was reality. I could fantasize about a lot with Tess, but things were getting serious and I needed to ground myself.

"Babe, I'm home. Come over?" I didn't get a response, instead I got a comment an hour later on the pictures Nina posted that said, "I'm glad you go the opportunity to live your life and have fun with your friends. Take advantage of being in the moment and doing more things like this. You're young don't let anything hold you back." I knew it. Tess brought herself back to reality too and thinks she's holding me back from everything I want in life. That wasn't an excuse, why couldn't she just talk to me about it and we'd figure it out together? It's my decision about what's best for me and who I want by my side when I do them. This was just a little roadblock right? We'd be fine in a few days.