jangmi (장미) ● taejoon

t h i r t y n i n e .

  Jangmi has deteriorated into quietness at school. Every time Bennie dropped her off to school, she got more hesitant to get out the car - she was always excited for a new school day. Her eyes always looked down as she listened to the substitute's instructions, but Jangmi never got to doing what the class did. She just sat at her desk, and drew a picture of Namjoon from her memory. She always drew him smiling since it was the face she saw.

"... Jangmi," Ms. Won called the little girl's name from Namjoon's former desk, "I know it's recess, but I'd like you to talk to you.."

Jangmi looked up from her art, seeing clearly because of the lovely hair clip she never let go. A simple nod was her answer.

The substitute waved her hand to signal her over to her desk, an Jangmi got up and went over. Hands fiddling, the small frame faces the woman who was sitting.

"... Is everything okay?" Ms. Won asked softly, "... I know I've only been here for a few days, but if you need an adult to talk to... I'm here."

Jangmi looked down at her feet. Silent.

"... Are any of the students bullying you?" She continues, "You're a nice girl, but you've been looking sad ever since I met you."

Jangmi shook her head. "... I-I miss Mr. Kim..."

Ms. Won looked at her sympathetically. "... I'm sorry, Jangmi. I'm not sure when your teacher will come back, I heard he was a good one. I don't know how long I'll stay, but I bet your teacher misses you kids too..."

"Please, don't replace him," Jangmi began to sniffle, taking Ms. Won back as her voice began to shake. "I don't-don't want him to go!"

The woman's expression was sympathetic. "... It's not up to me to see if Mr. Kim will or can come back," she says, patting her head. "Please don't cry."

It doesn't feel the same. That hand isn't Mr. Kim's. That voice isn't Mr. Kim's.

Those words would've help Jangmi feel better, but it didn't come from the person who she wanted here. Namjoon's voice could stop tears from rising instantly, but he wasn't here.

So, Jangmi began to cry. It was as if she was homesick. Her lips trembled as her eyes watered down onto her rosy cheeks. Her hands make way to wipe them away. She was worried Mr. Kim might find out she was crying for him again.

Ms. Won turned into panic as Jangmi vocalized her sobs. "... Jangmi, Jangmi don't cry," she ushered, "How about I let you go home early? I'll call your parents and tell them you weren't feeling well then send you to the office. I'm sorry..."

Jangmi hiccuped, her eyes reddening. She pursed her lips as she sniffled, nodding quietly once more. Her hand wipes the wetness off her cheeks.

Ms. Won dialed some numbers using the classroom phone.

Jangmi walked back to her desk to pack up. Folding her drawing of Namjoon, and putting it into her backpack like the many others she was planning on giving to him once he comes back.

If he comes back.

[unedited]