jangmi (장미) ● taejoon

f i f t y t w o .

When Yoongi carried Hoseok into the hospital, those same flames stayed in his eyes when he saw Seokjin and Jimin's necks covered in bruises not so similar to Hoseok's. With clenched fists, he burned his soul into the two men.

"... You're not allowed in his room. I don't want to see your disgusting bastard faces right now. You- You were going to leave him to die! I can't believe you!"

"Minnie, wait-"

"Don't touch me!" Yoongi shouted in the quiet halls. "Why don't you two go fuck each other in the van to feel better about yourselves! I can't believe you're playing hooky with your ex. Just find Namjoon, and stay the hell away from us!"

It was beginning to be morning, and Jungkook was going to miss school again - Yoongi tried to force him to go home, but after tonight he knew neither of them wanted to be alone. So Yoongi called their mother, saying that there was just a small emergency and they'd be back before dinner.

The two brothers sat on each side of the hospital bed. The oldest, Yoongi, held Hoseok's hand - his arms propped against the blankets, his thumb caressing the somewhat warm skin. Listening to the heart monitor intensively, begging to not hear it flatline. Luckily, it was only rhythmic beats. Faint but noticeable ones at least.

"... He's going to be okay, right?" Jungkook asked quietly. They've been in the hospital for over four hours, staying during the emergency surgery. "How are we going to explain..."

"I don't want to think about it right now," Yoongi murmurs, holding Hoseok's hand between his warm ones and pressing a kiss against the bruised knuckles. "Let's talk about it when the time comes. The doctor's not sure when he'll wake up.... But he'll wake up, I-I know he will..."

Jungkook took a deep breath, looking outside the hospital room window just to see the moon towering over the city buildings. It was so quiet at night in there, only the sounds of heart monitors and Hoseok's oxygen mask.

He turns back to Yoongi. "... Do you, do you love him?" He asks, "... I heard you say it in the van... Why?"

Yoongi didn't look up from the question. His eyes stayed on Hoseok's faint chest movements. "... Yeah, I do..." He says softly, "I do love him."

Jungkook looked down at his hands, his eyes staring at the dry blood covering his palms. He didn't remember how warm Hoseok's blood was on his hands nor did he remember to wash it off. He just, he remembers the way Hoseok remained calm despite the pain he must've been in. How he didn't tell him to stay, but to go. Go away, leave him be. Even if he died. That was terrifying to Jungkook, Hoseok wanted him to leave. Go home to Yoongi.

"... He tried to kill you once," Jungkook whispers. "Don't you remember?"

"Jungkook, a part of him is still a kid just like you," Yoongi says, sniffling with tired eyes. "... He didn't know an ounce of compassion back then, you know? He's still learning and learning, it's hard for him. He grew up feeling like some, some object his whole life."

"When he targeted me, I found out and held him at gun point," Yoongi says, "... I was just at a café in Gwangju for a drug deal when you were still in middle school. The gang ordered a hitman on me because the deal was a scam."

"When I tell you his face," Yoongi sniffled with a airy laugh to ease the tension, "... His face was just... He looked like he didn't know what death meant. He just stared at me, sniper in his hand. Caught red-handed on the roof of an abandoned parking lot."

Another soft trembling peck goes to a bruised knuckle. "When he pulled the gun at me, I told him... I-I told him that the only way I'll fear death is if the ones I love disappear first. He asked me, my god he asked me If I was suicidal. That was his first question. H-He didn't understand at the time."

Yoongi took a shaking breath. "So I told him, No. No I'm not. It was either shoot me now or put the gun down, I could care less about my life if it meant ending it would keep my family alive. We stared at each other for the longest... L-Longest time."

"... Hyung," Jungkook called out quietly, his heartbreaking at the sight of his own older brother forcing his tears back till he let out a silenced sob.

"He put the gun down and asked Do you love them?" Yoongi continues, voice faltering. "... Of course my family. I love you, Jungkook. I-I love Mama."

"When he dropped that gun, He sat in front of me," Hoseok's breath is quiet compared to Yoongi's breaking voice, "Told me he never had a family, so he didn't know what it was like. God, he looked like such a lost child at that moment. He was a numb man, but had eyes of a child who didn't know what the world was."

Yoongi gulps as he sniffles, wiping his cheeks. "I laughed at the way he acted, but he looked serious. He didn't have a family in Spain. His mother never abandoned him, Jungkook. He was a victim of human trafficking."

"... Oh god..." Jungkook murmured.

"When he was five, his mother took him on a trip to Spain for a vacation," Yoongi says. "... His mother only left him for two minutes to get them ice cream while he played by the fountain. H-He could only remember being grabbed by the hand and being shoved into a van. That was the last memory he had of his mother, screaming trying to follow them."

"He gets so many nightmares about it, it breaks me so much to see him that way," Yoongi sobs, "When he came with me, I told him I'd be his family if he stayed. Left whatever he was behind in. Turns out, the real him hates killing, fighting, the sound of guns firing. The real him loves butterflies, cuddles, and sunlight. He loves laughing, smiling, and feeling safe."

"... And I love him for that," Yoongi chokes, wiping the tears off Hoseok's hands as they drip down. His shoulders shaking as he spoke. "... Of course I never told him, but I-I do."

"When I saw his body," He pursed his lips before bringing Hoseok's hand to them and pressing a kiss. "It was the first time I was ever scared of death. I-I can't lose him like that not when I spent so long trying to... Trying to change his mindset away from Spain, his mother, the boarding school."

Jungkook sighed softly. "... I didn't know he meant that much. I-I'm sorry."

"I got so mad at Jimin and Seokjin," Yoongi says, "The fact that they even tried to leave him there all alone made me so... So Angry."

Yoongi sniffled looking at Jungkook.

"... Thank you... For saving him."

[unedited]