jangmi (장미) ● taejoon

s e v e n t y o n e .

Namjoon took the tray from the nurse and entered Taehyung's hospital room, dragging an iv stand beside him as usual. Placing the tray on the table, pulling up another chair beside the patient. "... Good morning, Taehyung."

Taehyung sat up, rubbing his exhausted eyes. Bruising had formed around his nose with a small cut, but it wasn't painful - the doctor had patched him up. "... Morning, ba- Joon. Joon, can I call you that?"

Namjoon shakes his head softly. "I don't mind," he says, "Did you and Jimin talk?"

He moves the retractable table Taehyung's bed, uncovering the tray and pouring him a glass of water. Namjoon can see the fatigue hitting the other's body every hour, eyebags had gotten worse around his eyes despite him sleeping whenever he was give painkillers. It must not be from physical pain.

"I haven't, but I will when he comes around," Taehyung sighs. "Sit."

Namjoon took the pull-out chair beside his bed and sat. Sliding the glass of water to the parched man - who engulfed it in seconds. He looks down at his hands, turning his arm to glance at the IV injected into his skin and the Mild burns on his hands from the explosion.

In the corner of his eye, he could see Jangmi's hair clip hidden between Taehyung's scraped fingers. He clutched it so tightly, so dearly - Namjoon knew it was the only thing Taehyung had of Jangmi now. Everything, all their memories, her growing up, it all burned in the fire.

Taehyung didn't care about the damage to his home, how much it costed, how much he lost. He only cared about that little girl. Hoping, hoping that she's okay. He never taught her how to fight. That's what he regrets the most.

Namjoon placed his hand on his. "... She's going to be okay, she's smart," he says, circling shapes with his thumb over those white gripping knuckles. "She's a smart girl."

"I know she is, she's my girl," Taehyung hissed, "Being smart doesn't stop her from being terrified. She was kidnapped for Christ sake by her own mother, and was involved in a car crash that could've killed her by her mother's orders. Her mother is a complete imbecile."

Namjoon turned Taehyung's hand and pried his hand open, taking the clip and placing it on Taehyung's lap before intertwining their fingers together. "I know she's terrified, Tae, but she's not going to be irrational. She may be a little girl, but if she's anything like you... She'll fight, I know that."

"Why do you try to defend me?" Taehyung asks, shaking his head slightly. "I've done things to you no good man does, yet here you are trying to make me some hero when just at the sight of you, you're clearly a victim."

"Jangmi needs a father," Namjoon says, "You do things with a reason. I know you do things for Jangmi. It's better for her to have you then nothing. You... You love her unconditionally even when you don't show it to her. She needs that right now. A kid needs that when they grow up."

"I hurt one of your gang members, Namjoon," Taehyung shook his head, "I beat up a kid, one of your kids apart of the gang. You wanna continue picturing me as a perfect father figure?"

"I know, and I can't forgive for that," Namjoon sighed, "I prefer you wouldn't apologize, but take action to fix what you've done. You and I both know, what you did was wrong, so don't just sit there and apologize. You need to make up for that. Nobody is a perfect parental figure, but just... Raise your kids as the figure you needed as a kid."

"The figure I needed as a kid was a normal one," Taehyung let it a hearty laugh before coughing slightly, "... I could be a better father if I was just raised normally. Not in the life of mafia deals, prostitution, and my mother's inability to properly nurture. I'm somewhat glad I was an only child."

"... Jimin told me you wanted to be a father when you were a teenager," Namjoon looks at him softly, pretty kind eyes that can make a heart swell. "You fought to keep Jangmi despite her mother wanting an abortion. You stepped up to take the father role despite being so young, I respect that. Not many are willing to, and it's a shame children are left that way.."

"I've denied it ever since Jangmi met you, but you're a better father than me," Taehyung shrugs, leaning back on his pillow. "... I could tell just by the way Jangmi acts when you're around... Isn't being a gang leader and elementary teacher hard? Trying to make a change illegally and educate the youth? You're both good and bad, yet all I see is the good in you."

Namjoon smiles softly. "... It's definitely hard. It's not easy balancing being a strong man and being myself these days."

"... It's hard for everybody to be themselves these days," Taehyung hums, "... It just shows how shitty the world is."

"I live in a neighborhood full of gangs, drug dealing, and the mandatory feeling of never being safe. You never know when you're going to get mugged, jumped, kidnapped, or get a gun pulled on you," Namjoon says, "Imagine how that must be for kids? Never feeling safe at school anymore because you're afraid one day someone might pull a trigger at school, drove to suicide, sink into depression from pressure of society. It feels mandatory to grow up with a mask and live with it for the rest of your life just to make sure you don't end up at the deep end."

"It's not easy being a parent either when you know your children aren't safe too," Taehyung looks over, "... I wouldn't be so worried if I just... I should've dropped all of this, the mafia. I should've let go of it all when she was born, but I was worried of the financial struggle of having a kid since I was a kid myself too. I knew I wasn't going to get enough support to take care of her, so I had to become the support. Now I worry sick about her since she's the goddamn daughter of a mafia leader, you know? I was a kid being forced into my father's business, and I wasn't going to do the same to her."

"... Let's raise her together then," Namjoon's hand grips Taehyung's tighter but not painfully, "... It's not easy being a parent, but being parents together might... Might make it a little easier, don't you think?"

"... Parents together?" Taehyung asks, "... Don't you remember what I've done to you?"

"Don't you regret what you've done to me?" Namjoon asks, staring back at Taehyung. "I have a right to be angry at you, disgusted, but here I am: sitting beside your hospital bed, holding your hand, and suggesting we become a family. Of course, I remember what you've done, but if you want to become a better person... That doesn't mean you have to do it alone."

Taehyung placed his hand over Namjoon's cheek, caressing the rough scarred skin of the sliced heart on his face. "... I regret it so, so much," he whispers, holding Namjoon's hand tightly. "Everything I've ever done before was only for Jangmi, now... Now you too..."

Taehyung leaned in to press his lips against Namjoon's again: the same feeling, same touch as the night at the beach. His soft pecks were dear and sweet, being taken and in return Namjoon kisses back as his hand is held.

"... I've always wanted to be a real father."

[unedited]