Another Lifetime (Camren) | Vyntage

Chapter 30

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F I N A L E

(n.) the last part of something (such as a musical performance, play, etc.)

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Lauren Jauregui

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It's a cold December morning and a Saturday. I am familiarizing myself on directions, retracing the road to where my parents were. It felt so good to finally be able to see the outside world again. It's as though I was locked up in some chamber for a long time that I have this wonderment in everything I see outside, that of a kid.

I love morning drives and all the wonders that come with it. The deep blue to purple to pink and orange mixture of the sun's spectrum as it dawns humanity once more.

The deserted road still safe from the build-up of traffic and pollution, the cool breeze that engulfs you as you speed through places to places just before humidity and heat take over because of the eminent global warming and any other manifestation of the tranquility of the morning before it is prematurely ruined by humans.

Morning drives clear my mind, although technically speaking my mind was as clear as freshly pressed bond paper. There's nothing in it.

I got blank space baby.

Anyway, it was two weeks since I woke up from that dreaded slumber. The past days were filled with doctor appointments, check-ups and driving lessons. Yes, driving lessons again because uncle Steffan doesn't want to be so sure. It even took me an hour of persuasion and promises that I'll be extra careful for him to allow me to drive to mom and dad's today.

I parked my bike near the mausoleum and tugged my leather jacket tighter as the breeze off six in the morning got colder. I opened the gates and there they are still looking happy, embracing each other.

I lit up a candle and I was silent the whole time but my mind echoed all the things I wanted to tell them. It's just, it's all mixed up into a messy tray for me to sift through to try and make sense of anything.

But then, I sighed giving up go the thought of constructing a momentous speech and just blurted out whatever comes off my mind.

"Hi mom, Hi dad. You know I almost died a month ago. You see, I was the wrong person at the wrong place and on the wrong time. Funny right? Everything was negative so it equaled to a positive outcome, because I positively almost lost my life. I know I didn't get the chance to visit you often and I'm sorry. But I'm okay now, I lost part of my memories but I'm coping. Although as much as possible I don't try and remember any of them imperatively. Uncle Steffan told me that if it didn't come back naturally I should be okay with it and just move on. He told me to not force things and let it come fluidly like water, and naturally like breathing. I must admit that I'm better now; I got it all back, my strength, my orientation with the things around me, my health. But something inside me felt empty. It's like,there's a void I can't fill up. It's like when a paper got holed by a puncher, it's lingering. The absence was made obvious. But maybe that's just psychologically, a part of having selective amnesia."

"Also, I'll get back to work on Monday, uncle Steffan told me that we're going to start the construction of the European branded hotel. He said I closed the deal when I was in London before, I just don't remember it. I'll be fine, don't worry about me too much. I'm strong like always. I miss you guys and I love you so much. I'll visit again soon."