Saving Grace (editing)

45: Grace ~ Hurt

Chapter Forty-Five

Stop.

Stop now.

No.

No more.

I can't take it anymore.

Can’t I let go?

I'm barely hanging on… wait no.

I'm not even hanging on anymore.

Falling…

Slipping…

What do I do?

What's the point?

Maybe…

Maybe it’s for the best if I...

Slip away…

Escape…

Hide away…

Retreat…

Maybe for a little while…

Maybe…

I'm sure nobody will notice.

Nobody will even care…

Nobody…

No one…

No one cares.

I’m all alone now.

I’ve always been alone…

That’s it.

That’s all.

I give up.

I’m done.

Goodbye.

Goodbye to no one.

~Grace

~

It hurt. It hurt so badly.

I felt shame, disappointment, betrayal, anger, frustration, agony but I felt especially pain.

But I should’ve realized that pain was destined for everyone to feel, no matter what; pain was inevitably impossible to prevent.

But the degrees of pain could still be monitored.

However, I am so hopeless at monitoring and controlling it.

I thought that perhaps concealing my darkest thoughts and keeping them tucked away would be best. How stupid was I?

Because, soon enough, it would build up so much that it would finally come crashing down, impacting with so much force that I would be better off dead.

Death.

No, I shall not welcome death…

I may be… depressed… but suicide is selfish. Even I know that. But still, at my weakest moments, I almost gave in… so how did I deal with such temptations and triggers and thoughts?

I pushed them aside, that’s how I did it. I thought about Elliot. But now-

I can’t even think about it. It hurts too much. Too, too much.

I have reached my breaking point, but this isn’t the first time.

The last time it happened, I ran.