Saving Grace (editing)

52: elliot // Thank You

(a/n: Just in case there is any confusion, I am just clarifying that this chapter is Grace speaking to Elliot in the hospital bed and as far as it goes Elliot is unresponsive… so it’s basically just Grace’s dialogue but I guess you could try to imagine being in Elliot's point of view and 'listen' to Grace talk to him

Yours Truly, Therese)

~

f i f t y - t w o

“Um, hey Eli…

Yes, it’s me again.

Apparently you can hear me still even if you’re… yeah and I guess that’s true since I did hear you all those months ago when I was lying on the hospital bed myself...

It’s almost funny to think that time has flown by so fast and so much as transpired since that first moment I opened my eyes to you.

I just want you to know that, wait scratch that. I need you to always know that… I will forever be sorry for what unfolded that night.

 I will probably end up uttering my apologies for the rest of our lives but I truly am so sorry.

I regret my actions that night and the events that occured after and I now realize that you would never hurt me. But instead I ended up hurting you… I get it now. I never meant to hurt you…

But… I can focus on the future and focus on your recovery and waking up.

As well as my own recovery.

By the way, I finally do understand now. Everything you told me over and over again. I mean, you know, I understand about myself.

I was blinded by my own mind but I know now that I don’t have to drag myself around and linger on the past and the negativity that I created myself.

I think I’m finally being able to wrok through my mental illness… its weird calling my depression that since I was so used to considering it to be part of me. But it is an illness… it’s preventable and curable.

I was already mending from the moment I met you… and I think… that possibly, just maybe… I’m not entirely depressed anymore, or considered to be at least. The doctors, my therapist Polly, everyone really, especially your dad and even Susie, they’re a big help. Like how you told me, I was never alone. And I now know that it’s true. I have such bad timing don’t I?

I won’t actually be truly happy until you finally wake up… but until then, I’ll try to make up most of life and be here for you till you can return back to us. I’ll be here every single day in the afternoon, I’ll bring our book, and I’ll read for you, I’ll even bring our favourite drinks so the smell could lure you from your sleep…

But take all the time you need, remember that. I don’t mind if you take years. But please don’t take years. Just as soon as you can, but as long as you need. I really do miss you more than words could describe.

I love you. I never said it to you enough. I can never be able to say those words to you enough. I love you so much. My love for you is even more profound than any old poet or artist could even try to comprehend or describe.

I guess I have to thank you, well of course I have to thank you. You’ve given me friendship, love, a home and hope for a better future. In return, I give you my faith and what once was a withering heart that you tended and brought back to life.

You taught me so much about myself and made me understand more than I could even try to realize.

I have to go soon, since it’s getting late and Susie’s waiting for me back home. We miss you; we miss you so, so much. We’ll wait though. I’ll always be waiting for you and I’ll do whatever it takes for you to come back safe with us again.

I will try to stay strong for you just as long you stay strong too. Maybe our combined strength can pull us both through. I know it can.

And Elliot? You saved me more than you know.

You saved me, Elliot.”

[a/n: this chapter has been edited as of 19/01/17]