The Best Intentions

Chapter Forty One

*Natalia Mendoza*

I wasn't always the bad guy. It was a slow descent. Well, not that slow. I grew up on the streets and clawed my way to the top. I learned quickly that you have to kill whoever gets in your way.

When I was sixteen, I started working for a gangster. Jack. He didn't have a last name. The thing was, I was originally working for his rival, Anita. She was the reason I got away with killing Jack.

I killed Anita after the job was done by convincing two of Jack's old employees that she was the one responsible for ordering the hit on him.

By nineteen, I established my own gang. It wasn't like I wanted to kill anybody. I just had to do it. I didn't want to be a cruel person, but you kind of have to when you're running a gang. There's no escaping it.

I only did the things I did to live. But you aren't really living unless you're thriving. So I chose to thrive.

At twenty, I had gotten rid of all the other gangs in Iron Beach. I was practically running the city. I had the police on my payroll. In the next year, I got their superiors on it.

I spent my entire career defending myself from men and women who tried to take me down...I guess I just never expected Katherine to betray me. I trusted her. She was the only person besides Mark that I could depend on.

But she just stabbed me in the back.

Katherine and I met on the day I killed the biggest crime boss in the city. I practically begged her for help, and she was all too willing. I'm pretty sure her only goal was to be apart of something. Maybe she did it to spite Carlene. Maybe she did it because she hated authority. Or maybe she did it just to stick her middle finger in everyone's faces.

Regardless of her reasoning, she helped pay off the people I hired to kill all the other gangs in the city. I saved the big guy for myself, though. I wanted to see his face when he realized I just took over the city.

Katherine and I had been friends for four years. Well, I thought we were. Maybe it changed for her after I made her kill someone. It was the leader of a gang starting to rise to power. I just wanted to send a message. I wanted Katherine to prove her loyalty to me.

So I made her kill him. For the record, I did feel bad about it.

I still feel bad about the things I've done sometimes.

Sighing, I walked down the halls of Iron Labs until I reached the cafeteria. It was quiet and empty. I rubbed my temples as I took a seat at a table, waiting for the security team to escort Katherine in. I didn't miss the sneer she sent me as they dragged her inside and sat her across from me.

I waved the guards away. When they were gone, I waited for Katherine to say something.

"What do you want?"

I looked down. Softening my voice from its usual condescending tone, I asked, "What did I do to make you betray me?"

Katherine scoffed. "Are you kidding me? How could you not know?"

I shook my head, meeting her hateful eyes. "I'm at a loss."

Her nose scrunched up and leaned forward. "You're an idiot!" I jumped back when she slapped me, her nails slicing my cheek. "I hate you! You ruined my life! HOW COULD YOU NOT REALIZE THAT?!"

I sat back down. "I asked you what I did, not how you felt about me. Be more clear. How did I ruin your life?"

Katherine leaned in even closer until we were nose to nose. For some reason, all I could think about was how Kate was a lot more intimidating than her. It was a stupid thought that almost made me smile.

"We were friends until you turned your back on me. Until you forced me to start killing people for you. You stopped caring about me a long time ago. I use to be your partner, and then I was suddenly I was your lackey." Katherine spit in my face. I closed my eyes, forcing myself to remain calm. "The only person I've ever met who was worse than you is Evan. You ruined Iron Beach and I was trying to fix it."

"I make mistakes too!" I spat, standing up. "I'm a human too! Do you think I actually wanted all of this? Do you think I wanted to do this to you?! I thought you were my friend and you stabbed me in the back!"

"You aren't the victim here!" Katherine screamed. Her eyes were burning with contempt. "Nobody is ever going to love you, especially not Devin. You're a monster."

The realization slowly sunk in, cutting me deep and stinging my heart.

I nodded slowly. "Yes. Yes, I am. I killed Lilith Flynn. I've done my best to ruin Kate, though I must say she's resilient. I've locked you up along with over 800 other supers, regardless if they were willing or not. I've ruined this city, corrupted it, and made crime skyrocket. I've blackmailed superheroes. I've had innocent civilians killed just to send a message. I am a monster. But do you think that you're any better after all the things you've done? At least I can own up to what I've done. You just blame me."

Katherine stared at me for a moment. She looked away. "No. I'm not any better. You're right." She looked back up at me with a cruel smile. "But I'm already paying for what I've done. I wonder how you'll have to pay."

After Blue Blur almost killed Gold, I'd say I'd be paying with my life. I wouldn't put it passed her. I'd created another monster.

I sighed and put my hand over Katherine's. I tried to smile but couldn't. "If it means anything to you, I'm sorry for the things I've put you through. I forgive you for the things you've done to me, and I can't blame you. I'll get you out of here soon, and maybe we can go back to how things were."

Katherine shook her head, a tiny smile forming on her face. "They won't. No matter how many times you beg me for forgiveness, I won't ever forgive you. You know deep down you'll never forgive me either. You aren't capable of forgiveness."

I pulled my hand away. Did she really mean that?

Katherine sighed. "So, what's this about a transfer."

I stared her down. "Iron Labs has a lot more...comfortable facilities than this one. I'm moving you there. It's safer than it is here. But I promise you that you won't be there for long. There's still a warrant out for your arrest, but when I get you out of here-"

"Stop lying and trying to get my hopes up," Katherine snarled. "I know I can't trust you. You hate me."

"We were friends once," I whispered. "I could never hate y-"

Katherine stood up. "We've both changed a lot since then. Goodbye, Natalia."

I stood watching helplessly as she fully turned her back on me. Katherine must've known for a long time. For some stupid reason, I wish somebody had told me sooner. I don't know why. But I finally understood. I didn't need anybody to tell me. I knew now. Maybe I had known for a while.

I was beyond redemption.