I Loved You First (A Rooney Mara Fanfiction) GXG

Talk To Me, Please

SAM

I felt so empty. I felt like I'm physically there but I was not.

My phone buzzed again for the hundredth time. Elizabeth calling, it said.

I don't want her calling me. I want Rooney to call me. To tell me that she made a mistake. To tell me that she misses me.

But she didn't. I guessed it was really over.

My friends couldn't really helped me either. They were in LA. And I had stopped flying back to LA to my other apartment just eight months ago, when Rooney proposed to come live with her.

And the only one who I could talk to and binge all my miseries away was my older brother, who was always busy and who had also recently betrayed me by telling Elizabeth everything. Now, all my friends knew.

I drank and cried myself to sleep every night. I did as what Kate told me. To give Rooney space. To give Rooney time. At least a week.

I missed Rooney terribly. I still reminisced every time I came home from work, I'd see her running towards me, hugging all the stress away. I still reminisced every time I woke up in the morning, the smell of her own recipe for vegan pancakes would fill the entire room. I missed Rooney. And it hurt so much.

Rooney and I used to have fights like this. It was normal. Couples do fight. We'd get over them. We'd never sleep the night away without resolving the problem. Sometimes, she'd just hug me or I'd hug her, and all seemed forgiven.

But that's not the case right now. It was really over.

No, don't give up, I said to myself. Rooney still wants you. She still needs you. She's just scared to admit that right now. Right now, she's lost.

I waited for a week. I didn't send her any message or even attempt to call her. Just like what Kate had told me to do. I still asked Kate how Rooney has been. And I'd still get the same reply all over again that she's doing fine.

A week turned into two. I kept on asking Kate if I could finally go and meet Rooney. And Kate kept saying it was not yet time.

But I missed her.

I decided to walk by the building of Rooney's apartment one Thursday night. I knew her Thursday nights. I kept in mind her daily schedule. She would go meet her friends for a yoga session and then come home around 6pm. So, I sat on the pavement across the building and waited.

My phone buzzed and received a message from a friend, Eric. "Are you up for a small gig tomorrow night?"

I ignored it. And smiled. Am I even ready to sing again after Rooney?

About an hour or two, I seemed to give up. Then a car suddenly rolled and parked beside the building. I stopped my tracks as a guy with almost bald hair emerged. What is he doing here? No. Of course, Rooney won't do that.

She wouldn't. The Rooney I knew I wouldn't.

Then Rooney came into view as she stepped off the car, carrying a bag of groceries. Her black hair was tied in a ponytail. She was wearing her over-worn blue denim jackets. And I felt a knot in my stomach.

I gulped a lump in my throat. Then I hurriedly crossed the street.

I managed to step between Rooney and Charlie and the door into the building. Thank God the guard was not present at the moment.

"Sam," Rooney muttered.

Charlie looked at me absentmindedly as he went to get the bags of groceries from Rooney. "I'll leave you two alone," he said as he entered the building, probably heading to Rooney's apartment. Probably gonna do something with her later that night. And I bit back a sob because I couldn't handle the thought.