Memories Faded

[ 22 ]

"And I don't trust you lately
And if that makes me crazy
Can't hold it against me
Against me
Hold it against me, yeah
Feel like I'm driftin'
Know he notice the distance and love ain't been  blockin' my vision
But that ain't my fault"
- H.E.R.

Kadence

"You can do this." I mumbled while trying to urge myself to press the doorbell. It's as if all of my confidence dwindled at the thought of what's on the other side of this door. Closing my eyes, I took a few deep breaths to calm my nerves. When I opened my eyes back I pressed the doorbell with no hesitation.

"Coming!" I heard her familiar voice sing from the other end of the door. I shook my arms out and composed myself just as the door opened. She stared at me, not saying one word.

"Hi, mom."

"You still with that drug dealer?"

"My husband isn't-" She snorted and closed the door in my face. "That's definitely what I should have expected after nine years of not seeing you. Immature bitch." I spoke out loud before turning to walk back to my car. I'm so glad I didn't bring Chasity with me like I initially planned.

My mother has always been a wild card, but for her to still be giving me the cold shoulder for who I choose to spend my life with is crazy. People want to paint Chance out to be this horrible person when he's not. Yet when he was the star football player back in high school everyone was on his dick. My mother's fake ass especially. Always making comments on planning out our wedding and when we would be giving her grandkids. As soon as he hit a rough patch in his life everyone gave up on him.

I promised I wouldn't become one of them, but I did when we lost our son. I'm upset with myself that I wasn't strong enough to handle that situation better, but I'm in a more stable mindset now and I'm aware of how to go about situations without emotionally exhausting myself in the process.

Now my brother on the other hand has a completely different beef with Chance. He initially didn't like him because Chance made me his responsibility, something that my brother felt was his job given to him by our dad. The icing on the cake was when Chance didn't come to him about marrying me. Kalvin took the role of being my father figure seriously and he took it as disrespect when Chance didn't acknowledge the position he plays in my life. I tried explaining to Kalvin that Chance had a lot going on at the time and the only thing he cared about was making me his wife. Chance and I got married at eighteen, which was only two years after he lost his father and he was working around the clock as a corner boy. None of that mattered to Kalvin. They were both being stubborn about the situation so I eventually gave up on trying to get them to see eye to eye.

"Kadence?" A knock sounded off on my passenger window. I looked over to see my little sister standing there. I barely recognized her because when I was kicked out she was only eight at the time. We communicate through social media and text every now and then, but I haven't seen her in person since that day. I pressed the unlock button and waited for her to get in. As soon as she got in I leaned over to give her a hug.

"You're so grown now."

"Not grown enough in this house. Can I stay with you for winter break?" I looked around her to see our mom watching us from the window. This lady is so extra.

"You already know she's not letting you go anywhere with me. She won't risk me tainting you. Look at her watching us." My mom judges me because she feels like I'm being manipulated the same way my dad manipulated her. I know the only reason she closed the door on me is because I referred to Chance as my husband. My mom was one of those women who thought she could change a man. She thought she would be the one to change my dad's views on marriage. Thought she would be the one to do something that all the other woman in his life couldn't. In turn she was only a loyal side piece. Kalvin will be the first Thomas man in three generations to actually marry his woman, and I'm so proud of my brother to break the toxic trait passed down from our bitter great grandfather.