For Better Or For Worse (rewrite/ Continuation)

Chapter 36

A few days later,

Tracee came home in the middle of the night, expecting everyone to be asleep but she found Michael in the kitchen feeding Melody

"Slow down honey you don't want a tummy ache again" He told Melody who was hungrily drinking from the bottle

"Shit fuck" Tracee cursed dropping one of the freshly made bottles she wanted to put in the refrigerator when the kitchen was empty again

"Trace?" Michael asked

"Yeah" Tracee sighed

"I'll clean it up, could you just finish feeding her?" Michael asked about to hand Melody and her bottle to Tracee

"No, I made the mess I'll clean it" Tracee replied, quickly stepping away from her daughter and grabbed the paper towels to clean up the floor

"Alright" Michael frowned at her and finished feeding Melody before placing her back in her crib, he made sure she was safely tucked in before he made his way back to Tracee who finished cleaning up the floor in the meantime "Are you ok?" He asked her, already knowing the answer is no because he knows her long enough

"No, I almost ruined the floor and I ran out of cotton and polyester" Tracee sniffed

"I mean are YOU ok" Michael replied

"No, I don't know" Tracee cried burying her head in his chest

"You know you can tell me everything, I know something is bothering you but I don't know what" Michael mentioned holding her close and gently rubbed her back "I can't read minds you know?" He added

"You're going to want to divorce me if I tell you what's bothering me" Tracee sobbed

"I'm bothering you?" Michael asked her a little confused "Why?" He asked

"No, not You, I love you" Tracee told him

"And Melody" Michael added having Tracee look down "Wait what?" He asked her raising his brow at her

"I'm sorry" Tracee sniffed

"Sorry for what?" Michael asked

"I tried, really I tried those two weeks when our parents were here helping us out, but I just....nothing you know? The crying irritates me, the feeling of breastfeeding doesn't feel good and I'm afraid to hold the child, what if it's moving and I drop her having her skull break open?" Tracee told him

"You've held new borns before don't be so fucking rediclious" Michael told her and let go of her

"I knew you'd be mad at me that's why I didn't tell you sooner" Tracee sniffed

"Since the moment we met we've wanted kids, we finally after all these years have a beautiful little girl and now you don't want her anymore? Who are you and what did you do to my wife?" Michael replied stepping away from her

"I don't know why I'm like That! I wanted her too!" Tracee sobbed having Melody wake up and start crying

Michael shook his head at her and went to get Melody to calm her down

"What's going on?" Gail who woke up too and made her way up the stairs hearing voices and Melody cry "Hey sis you're home" She mentioned finding Tracee in the kitchen

"I shouldn't have come home" Tracee sniffed

"Don't say that, your little girl, hubby and me of course love you" Gail told her

"No they don't, because I don't feel anything for her" Tracee cried

"Wha- how?" Gail gasped

"I don't know" Tracee sniffed and looked at the hallway where Michael was on his way with Melody

"Look who's here, your auntie Gail, she's going to be your mother figure from now on" Michael mentioned and handed Melody to Gail

"Wait what?" Gail asked

"Didn't your sister tell you she regrets having her?" Michael asked

"It's called postnatal depression, I've seen many cases before with my co-workers who do family law" Gail mentioned while gently rocking Melody in her arms

"She loves you already" Tracee mentioned seeing Melody falling asleep in her sisters arms

"She'd fall asleep in your arms too, you're her mother" Michael reminded his wife

"Didn't I just say I can't be that for her" Tracee glared at her husband

"Y'all need to talk, I'll take this cutie with me and until y'all figure ya mess out nobody will see her" Gail interuppted them and took Melody with her

"Gail don't make me mad enough to make sure you can't see her anymore" Michael told her

"I'm the laywer in the family you're the singer" Gail reminded him before she made her way down the stairs to her part of the penthouse with Melody who in the meantime fell asleep in her arms

"But she's my daughter" Michael called after her

"And my niece, now shut the fuck up and fix your marriage, bye" Gail replied and closed the door in the hallway downstairs

"Did you talk to a shrink yet?" Michael asked raising his brow at Tracee

"No and don't treat me like I'm actually crazy" Tracee answered crossing her arms

"I just don't get it ok? I mean the people I've heard of who suffer from postnatal depression usually had a horrifying pregnancy or birth or an unwanted pregnancy" Michael mentioned

"Maybe it's because I lost two babies and my mind is protecting me from the pain of having to go trough that again?" Tracee wondered

"Melody is perfectly healthy, if you didn't know she's premature you don't even notice it" Michael told her

"I do love her I just....I don't know why I can't be around her, I'm naming the baby line after her, Melody's choice" Tracee told him

"That's sweet" Michael replied "Did you call Dr Williams? She might knows someone to refer you to, to talk about your postnatal depression" He suggested

"But I'm not crazy ok?" Tracee replied

"I know" Michael answered and wrapped his arms around her "I still love you, incase you were wondering about that" He told her

"I love you too" Tracee sniffed placing her head against his chest

"Maybe we should go back to South Africa, Kenya or Tanzania for a few weeks, it's not as busy and stressfull like New York and didn't we say we wanted to go back there with our little one anyway" Michael suggested

"I can't just leave right now, I'm in the middle of starting up three lines, Melody's choice, Teen and Mother and the new daily wear line, it will have everything from lingery to sweaters" Tracee told him

"You know you said we'd spend only six months in New York it's already a year next month and now you're doing three more lines, are you planning on permanently moving to Manhattan? Cause I'm not made for this cold weather" Michael replied

"I took a break when I was pregnant so I'm seven months behind my shedule and no not permanently moving to Manhattan, I mean we can do the holidays and time off in California or in Miami at my parents house, except for Christmas I want Christmas in New York or some place where they have snow during Christmas" Tracee answered

"I'd rather spend the winter months in California or in Miami or on Hawaii you know some place warmer" Michael told her "And we celebrated Christmas in New York last time so this year we'll celebrate Christmas at home in California" he added

"Ugh fine, Christmas in the sun, yay" Tracee sighed rolling her eyes

"New years too" Michael added

"Valentine's day we're back in New York tho" Tracee smiled

"We'll see" Michael replied