Her | k.th.

.3

My arm flailed over to my phone to silence the alarm.

Class was later in the morning but the six am alarm was always set for him when he had to depart early.

I rolled over to my side, staring out to the window waiting for the sunrise to peak and mentally reliving just a few hours ago with him.

He shifted behind me, moving himself next to me and cuddling me close. I couldn't help but melt into him.

His touch only made my mind drift back more to moments before.

He was never one to rush our time and this was no exception but there were differences.

His movement, his kiss and even the words that escaped his lips were unlike any other instances we've spent together.

Now that I know his secret, he's different.

It must feel as if a burden was lifted away now that I know but what if it's passed to me?

He's more than right in his assessment of my feelings.

He has scared me.

I am frightened.

I may not be running but a steady jog would be the most accurate contrast to avoidance when he begins to talk about it.

How did he think I would handle this? Was he really expecting me to accept his state without questions? Concerns? Doubts?

Honestly, he can have anyone he wanted. Why is he stuck on me? I...

"I'm not ready." His sleepy voice startled me as he unknowingly spoke my thought.

I think he secretly reads minds.

He squeezes me tighter. "I'm not ready to let go." He mumbles into my skin.

It made me smile to hear the subtle ways he tells me he will miss me. Another change.

"I don't want to cause you any trouble with your schedule Taehyung. Your..." I whispered.

"It will be worth it." He interrupted as he kissed my neck, creating a tingling feeling that radiated through me. I couldn't stop the moan that filtered from my lips.

"Mmm...do you like that?" He asked in between kisses. Now he's being a tease.

I will never get a handle on him.

I lowered my head to break his lips away from my neck but he caught on quickly.

"Shae..." He grumbled.

"Taehyung..."

"Do you not want my kisses?" I could hear the smirk in his question. "Do you not want me?"

I maneuvered myself with haste to face him as I scowled. Is he being serious? He's trying to get a rise out of me. Our stares were heavily engaged until he quirked his brow.

"Are you messing me again? Why would you even say that?"

"For your attention." He answered quickly and seriously. "When will you talk to me?"

The creases in my forehead were burrowing deeper. I'm now feeling forced to deal with something that I'm not prepared to.

"What are you looking for me to say Taehyung?" My voice was slightly raised.

"Hmm...I don't want to fight Shae." He answered lowly.

My breath hitched at his statement. Is this where we were headed? We've never fought before. He's never been this vocal with me until recently.

"I do not want to leave like this. So, please, tell me something. Tell me how you feel." He pleaded.

I took a deep breath before speaking. "Taehyung, I-I don't want to fight with you either but if you want me to be honest with you...I don't know what to think about this. I respect the reason that you didn't want to tell me about who you really were but I never expected anything like this."

His gaze lowered. "I see. I do not want this to be hard for you."

It wasn't difficult to hear what he was feeling.

"Look at me Taehyung." I commanded.

He slowly lifted his head up and my heart gripped at the sight of his saddened eyes.

"I just need to some time to think about this. This isn't something to be taken lightly and I want to be sure about what I'm getting into." I explained to him.

Taehyung leaned in closer and gave me a soft kiss followed with a small smile. "I will give you time if it is what you need."

I didn't like the way that sounded. My heart began to race as new thoughts began to flood my mind.

What did I do?

This feeling that was starting to build within wasn't sitting well with me. I may have just totally ruined things.

He started situating himself out of the bed, making it clear that our conversation was finished.

Tears began to form. I didn't want this to be our last words before he left.

"Taehyung?" I called with maybe a slight tremble to my voice.

A bigger smile immediately graced his lips along with a quick tug to the corner of his lips with his teeth but I'm sure my face was something along the line of a concern.

"Can I shower?" He asked.

"Uh, um of course you can."

My eyes wandered down as I slouched a bit answering. He didn't acknowledge my reaction but it wouldn't be the first time he's done this.

His eyes slowly blinked as he crawled back closer to me. His stare was hypnotizing and I didn't dare to move.

"Join me."

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