CHAPTER SIXTEEN.
AUGUST 2ND, 2002
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Cold.
The mornings were never like this. They weren't suppose to be like this.
Empty.
The mornings like these haven't happened in years. They weren't suppose to come back.
Dull.
The mornings were only like this on rainy days. They weren't suppose to be emotionally dull.
Sad.
She hasn't felt like this in years. She promised not to be like this.
But it hurt and it was sad and dull and cold and empty and what are you suppose to do in these situations? These sad memories were now imprinted in the walls and the bed and her mind and soul and heart. He breathed this air once, stepped on these floors once, laid on this bed once but he didn't know that.
And Eleanor just wanted to know where he was right now, or if it was hurting him. She remembered what he told her the other day, on how she was suppose to let go and let fate choose. But what if that all wasn't real? What if this is all just a lie? A big game or dream? She didn't know.
But she knew he loved her at one point in time. So as she laid on her back, looking at the pale ceiling, she wondered if she'd ever see him again. The way his eyes glossed in the mornings, how his hair looked after he showered, how he'd scrunch up his nose when she said a bad joke; she just remebered all the things she loved about him. But, she wondered if he remembered all the things he said he liked about her and if that was enough to bring him back.
But it wasn't. He was lost, alone, somewhere in a hospital right now, getting the necessary help. And that made her smile.
Her biggest fear was seeing him again, passing him in the street, only to have him brush past her. Another person. Another nothing. It swelled her chest.
But she shouldn't have been worrying so much because as she was, Ashton was laying down in his long term hospital bed looking over his schedule.
8:15am- 9:45am THERAPY APPOINTMENTS W/ DR. HARBARD
10:00am- 12:00am LUNCH BREAK
1:10pm- 2:20pm PHYSICAL THERAPY
3:00pm- 5:00pm ELECTIVES
6:00pm- 8:00pm DINNER
10:00pm LIGHTS OUT
It also showed that if he improved, he could get a job and go to school. Tears prickled his eyes as a nurse came in, picking up cluttered trash and setting the television. He smiled at her and then an idea played in his mind.
"Ma'am?" She stopped and turned around swiftly. She looked around forty, gray hairs making their mark. Her face held purity as she smiled at the boy who she pitied completely.
"Yes?"
"Can my mum come in now?" His mother has been waiting for the longest time in the waiting room, she refused to leave. She wanted to see her son. See if he was alright. She also brought along Calum, who had to go to work due to the amount of time sitting around in the medicine-scented room.
The nurse smiled and nodded, walking out and fulfilling his request. Ashton sat up straighter and watched the show the nurse put on, some weird cartoon about a yellow sponge in underwater. Ashton wanted Law and Order or something other than that but it was something about the weird undersea characters that got him in a trance, totally ignoring the fact that his mother was already sitting down besides him. She tooj his hand in hers, locking the boy out of his own mind.
"Hi, dear."
"Hey, Mum. Where's Cal? I thought I heard the doctor say 'your mom and some Asian fellow are here'."
"Don't tease your brother."
"But he's just so-"
"Stop it. I didn't wait hours to hear you talk about your brother's Asian characteristics. How are you?"
"I think I'm alright. I feel better."
"That's good."
"But Mum, I want you to know something. I don't want anyone telling me anything, alright? I want-want to find out on my own."
"You do whatever you have to do, dear. I'll be right here. All of us will."
And they were.
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a/n: theres literally one more chapter left im
this was my first actual book criying
