Faded [RENESMEE CULLEN]

𝟏. 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥

I SHAMBLE MY ALREADY TIRED FEET to the building I dread entering, also known as "Maple Hills Charter School". Cuddled in the woods, the small school that looked more like a house, had been founded by the same family that had first come to the small town of Maple Hills.

Dozens of cars have been parked on the streets nearby since there is no parking lot nearby. The town is too small and the mayor claims he can't afford to build one. But he can afford to build house after house after house! Shame on him!

I squeeze the handle of my computer bag. At school, they allow us, the senior high schoolers, to bring our computers to take notes. The pedagogues say it will benefit us in the future when we are off to University. I don't know whether I should go or not. What am I going to do there? Perhaps I should take a gap year and figure out what to do?

In reality, I should get my act together. The Cullens aren't going to house me for too long, I can feel it. Ever since the tragedy occurred, it will never be the same. Edward blames me for what happened and will never stop. Newsflash - I won't stop either.

"Name, please?", the woman behind the desk chirps. There we go again. Every year, the same nonsense over and over again. Time for my new student's card to be made.

"Jacob Black," I reply, asking myself what am I doing here. I should be in La Push, worrying about the pack of wolves and whether new vampires have crossed the treaty line. But I need my education. Without it, I can't have a home. The Cullens don't quite want me around them.

The lady's eyes meet mine again. "Middle name?"

I sigh, "I don't have one." The lady mumbles how irresponsible it is from my parents' side not to give me one. She has no idea about the Quileute naming traditions, does she?

Classes go by at their usual speed. The pedagogues have us all introduce ourselves and spend their classes reminding us how to take notes. I chuckle at myself, seeing all the girls pulling out bullet journals, full of cutesy curvy letters. They spend more time drawing in them rather than writing!

Soon comes the lunch break. I always have lunch outside, sitting by myself. I don't have any friends. I don't feel the desire to have friends. I don't age, they will. I don't have a family anymore, they still do. Ever since my father died, I lost everything.

Today is different. As I am searching for a place to sit, my eyes avert to a girl. She is new. She has to be. I have never seen her before. I wonder if she is from the senior high school students too. I haven't seen her in any of my classes. I have a sudden urge to go and introduce myself to her.

No!

Stop!

YOU CAN'T!

Not after what happened to Renesmee.

It's all your fault, to begin with.

From the distance, I can see that the girl is wearing a circle-shaped locket around her neck, like the ones with pictures inside. It reminds me of Renesmee. That and her brown hair. Hers is shorter and a lot straighter than Renesmee's.

WHAT DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND FROM A SIMPLE "STOP"?!

Too late.

My feet are already making their way to reach her. I need to talk to her. I don't even know why.

YOU, IDIOT! MOTHERFUCKER!

The voice in my head is overdoing this. My mother is dead. Say what you want, but anything you say that implies that you want to... you know what, is unacceptable. I can't believe someone would ever use that phrase. It disgusts me.

Before I can stop myself and go back to the solitude I am used to, I am already in front of her, making a fool out of myself.

"Hey!", I greet, a little too cheerfully. Kind of like the old Jacob. The one who ran around with the Quileute children. Back when legends were simply legends.

The girl looks at me with a blank face. Her eyebrows are shaped in such a way, they make her face more comely. Like Renesmee's.

Enough.

I need to distract myself.

Maybe I should walk away. But I can't. I've already greeted the girl. I can't be rude.

She is now looking at me askew, probably wondering why am I such a weirdo. You're not the only one, honey, "Uhh, hi?"

Before I can think what to say, from my mouth shoot out the words "Can I sit here?"

The girl's eyes move up and down before she finally lets me. Probably testing her territory, as Seth would say. Rest in peace, angel!

I find myself sitting next to her. Unbelievable! She introduces herself as Kayla Armstrong. She is a senior like me and in a couple of days, she will be 17.

I can't help but stare at her locket. It looks so much like the one Renesmee had, it's insane. I want to ask her about it, but the bell rings. It's time for the next portion of classes.