Winter

Cold Past

I haven’t tell you about me, which I am going to tell you who I am. Reading back to my diary back then, looking at my past, horrible. You might think that I was insane for actually bringing a teddy bear everywhere with me. Now, I still have it. It’s the present you cannot really change anything…

Other than that teddy bear, I am Thomas Sangster. Now and illustrator for Walt Disney and currently working for the U.S. Embassy. To me, life right now is very ignorant. You see, I might sound normal, but I am very different inside. I keep a wound that maybe, will never heal. Deep inside, I am…special. Why? I am magical. I am a wizard, but I look like a normal young adult. I have this cape, and I have two silver rings on both of my index fingers. Isn't it weird? Having a gift like that? It's called talent, and I am proud to have that gift.

Maybe, for a person like me, it is cool being a wizard, but what my goal is that, one day, I would meet my parents…in my dreams. They would say that I am a grown man with talents and gifts that can deserve to be proud of. And they would say that they are proud of me...but that wound? Is a wound that almost everyone would not know about. It’s pain, by thinking other people’s problems. Trying to solve them, trying to let go…of everything.

People think that I was insane to survive my past, it was horrifying. I was ashamed of being a child of a public figure that is look up to with utter amazement. I was abused, yet humilliated in front of people. My parents, they were ferocious. They would kick me out of my own house and stayed out for one teriible cold night isolated by iron bars and all I could see, was laughter and happiness. What they could not see, was my heart tearing apart. My parents were a threat. They completely ticked me off...and I figured that they find happiness in the suffering of others, especially their own son. Mr. Ken, was the commander, he was my uncle. He kept me living and gave me what I needed, not what I wanted. He was not someone special, but I thank him for everything that he ever did to me. That is why Teddy here, is my pal. People think I am too old to have a teddy bear, but if you were to have something precious that is worth to treasure and is the one thing that you have in your life that actually could cheer you up in any situation; keep it. 

I know my past is cold and worthless, I have to move on. But moving on, does not cure my wounds that are left inside my heart...