Crush Imagines

If You Insist

"How is it I run into you here more often than I do (y/b/f)'s parents and they actually live here?" You asked with a laugh as you walked into the kitchen to find (c/n) shoveling pretzels into his mouth. Since he was facing away from the door you'd decided to sneak up on him before speaking - a plan, it turned out, you really hadn't thought through, as he promptly began to choke uncontrollably. Panicked, you sprang into action, apologising profusely as you pounded him on the back with all your might.

"Do I need to do the Heimlich manoeuvre?!" You asked frantically, moving round behind him and positioning your arms around his waist. Why hadn't you paid more attention in first aid training that one time three years ago? You guessed you'd have to improvise, there was no time to watch a YouTube tutorial. You moved your hands ready to give a hefty pump to his ribs when his hands grabbed yours, stopping you.

"Please don't, I really don't think you're qualified to do that." You blinked in surprise as he turned to face you. "It'd also be ill advised since I stopped choking approximately 16 seconds ago, I just wanted to see how far you'd go to be my knight in shining armour."

He pointed to the unfortunate, mushy mound of pretzel on the countertop and you gagged.

"Bin that. Now. You grim, horny little shit." You grimaced. "I can't believe I thought your life was in my hands."

He tossed the repulsive substance in the bin. "I can't imagine hands more capable of holding my life, although come to think of it, it was those same hands that endangered it in the first place."

"What the fuck is going on in here?" (Y/b/f)'s brother Pete demanded as he strolled leisurely into the kitchen, zipping up his flies. Charming. "I go to take a piss for two minutes and it sounds like a bleeding mugging is going down in my kitchen with an overly apologetic mugger."

(C/n) laughed. "Can you imagine how hopeless (y/n) would be as a mugger?"

You scoffed. "Piss off, like you'd be any better!"

"(Y/n)," Pete looked at you seriously, although it was hard to return the seriousness in your own gaze as you noticed that he had in fact been unsuccessful in zipping up his flies and they were rather obviously still undone. "We've known each other a very long time, yes? So could you therefore do me a favour and not attempt to kill my best friend every time you see each other? Every time you both come round you somehow startle him into injury!"

"It's not my fault he's jumpy and weak!" You objected, making (c/n) have some objections of his own.

"Hey!"

"Just last week you walked into my room and he jumped so much he hit his head on the sloped ceiling!"

"Is that what that massive thud was?" You exclaimed, turning to (c/n), who was shooting daggers at Pete with his eyes.

"Yes," he admitted. "But I'm not jumpy and weak!"

"You are weak and won't survive the winter," you informed him with a pat on the shoulder.

"(Y/N)?!" (Y/b/f)'s voice hurtled downstairs into the kitchen at impressive volume. She had a hefty set of lungs on her that girl. "I assume you're not travelling miles to the nearest water source with a bucket on your head for that glass of water, so what's taking so long I have NO IDEA!"