The constant tightness of my chest keeps on becoming more painful, I just can't do it.
I'm slowly giving up on being sane,
I just need to let loose,
Get rid of all these emotions that I'm drowning in.
I feel like I'm unable to talk to anyone without feeling the need to shout and express my true feelings towards that person.
I want to just leave,
Disappear.
But I can't,
It's just not easy enough for me,
Yet.
Once I am greeted with the age of 16,
I'll make my move,
Nobody will notice anyway.
Everyone just believes I'm a bright, happy girl,
But inside I'm insane,
And I can't hide that anymore,
It hurts too much.
I know that if i don't hide it,
I'll be done for.
I'll have nothing left.
I mean,
It's not like I have anything now anyway.
I'm slowly losing everyone and everything,
But at this point I just don't care.
I've given up on everything I have.
I know nobody cares about me deep down,
They just don't think I notice.
I may not be smart but I'm not completely stupid.
I don't fit in anywhere.
I'm still surprised I have friends,
But I know that I don't fit in.
I always ruin everything,
And I'm sick of it.
I blame myself for everything,
Even things that I had no idea about,
Because,
Well,
It's easy.
Nothing can be prevented or fixed,
Now that I'm almost completely gone,
There's no coming back.
Once school begins once more,
I'll put on my fake persona,
As always.
It hurts,
But I have to do it.
I don't care if people like me or not.
As long as I feel like I can breathe,
I should be okay.
I hope.
But I just need time,
No matter how long that is,
Wait for me,
Please.
I just need to scream,
Let my mind run wild.
Once I've done that,
I should be okay.
Hopefully.
