thinking of it, i wasted almost my entire summer dwelling on people that were a waste of time.
i wasted my entire summer thinking i could've done better but i've realised it was a massive waste of time.
i spent the summer of 2019 depressed.
do i regret it? yes and no.
i regret wasting all of my time on overthinking and remembering that every time i put my trust into someone and that they reassure me that they will always be there for me when they knew deep down they wouldn't be.
however, i can't help but be grateful because thanks to that small group of people i've realised that once someone's gone, even though it might hurt, they're doing you such a massive favour and you'll never thank them enough for that.
although i wasn't looking forward to school starting back up i'm glad it did. It made me realise that there's only 4 people that i can trust with everything in me.
i've cut off people that aren't good for me and used me in multiple ways for their needs to make them seem like this badass character that is really quite the opposite. they didn't only use me for my sympathy but they used me and manipulated my friends to make me seem like i tagged along just to have friends.
do they know that i know almost everything that they've said about me and others? probably not but it's the fact that i know that it's true hurts.
i've just decided that if you have a gut feeling that something is wrong about a person, trust it.
if someone fucks up once, there is no doubt that they'll do it again. i know it's not nice to say or think about and it might not be immediate but if it happens just know that you were right the first time.
