CHAINS TO FREEDOM.✔

Chapter Sixty-Six

Louis sat heavily in the armchair. He leant forward resting his forearms on his knees and looked at the floor. He closed his eyes for a second and released his breath. When Louis opened his eyes he studied the rug, seeing it as if for the very first time. It's swirl of brown flowers, were not really flowers at all, Louis realised, but instead blobs of brown, laid out in patterns on the olive-green background and joined together with a lace effect, giving the appearance of flowers. He huffed and leaned back in his chair. Why would he be thinking of the rug, when there was Jessica? She had virtually ignored him since his return from George Town. He couldn't let her dismiss him like this. Would not, he decided, as he stood and moved toward the door.

He found her in the stables, collecting eggs. One of the broody hens had been laying them among the hay, and then covered them as if to hide them on purpose. It fluffed up its feathers and clucked frantically nearby in protest to what Jessica was doing.

She didn't hear Louis as he approached. Jessica was on her hands and knees in the corner of the stall, pushing the hay aside to expose the eggs. She saw his boots as she turned to place the eggs in her basket. Her eyes ran from his boots up his long legs, stomach, and chest and then to see an odd look on his face. Jessica had avoided him as much as she could since his return two days before. She said nothing but looked back to where the eggs lay and continued to place them delicately in her basket.

Louis squatted down; he took a piece of the hay and placed it in his mouth, and then waited, watching her.

When Jessica had placed all the eggs in the basket she stood with it in her hand, and looked at where he was still squatting.

He studied the piece of hay he had been chewing. His silence disturbed Jessica. She made to walk past him. Louis took hold of her ankle, but still he did not look up at her said, "Are you going to pretend I don't exist forever?"

Jessica tried to ease her leg gently from his grasp. Louis increased the pressure of his hold. She looked toward the ceiling, feeling bereft, not wanting a conflict with him. The barn had grown darker. Jessica thought of the storm clouds she had seen in the distance, as she had come across the courtyard. She breathed in and looked down at him. His matted golden-brown hair needed to be cut; it hung long on his neck and forehead, hiding his brows. "Please let go of me, Master."

"No, at least not until you answer my question."

The hurt in his voice stung Jessica but felt helpless to explain. She had no idea how to explain the feelings she had harboured in this last week, while he had been away or in fact the reason behind those feelings. It was all too complicated. Better to just leave things as they were. She pulled harder at her leg, Louis let go and stood as she moved around him toward the gate. His arm shot across in front of her. Jessica studied his face, she watched as his jaw muscles contracted, knowing he was fighting off displeasure. "Please let me pass."

"Why?" Having to force her to acknowledge him stirred the anger in his belly.

"So, I can take these eggs to Mary." Jessica held his stare determined to show no fear though the way his pupils dilated told her she was pushing his patience.

Louis ignored what she said and took hold of her arm. He manoeuvred her back against the rails and stared down at her. "Why are you pretending I don't exist?"

"I do not take kindly to being manipulated, sir." Drained by her emotions Jessica let loose and snapped, "It is bad enough having to take orders."

"What do you mean by that?" Louis had no idea what she was getting at. "Manipulated?"

She flicked her arm from his grasp and pushed him away, holding the basket between them.

Louis focused on the basket trying to contain his anger because she hadn't given him an answer he understood. He took the basket from her and tossed it into the corner of the stall, the eggs she had so delicately placed inside, tumbled to the floor. Louis stepped closer, forcing her hard up against the rails. She immediately put her hands out in front of her so Louis took a step closer.

"What is it that I have done for you to keep me away?" he demanded.

"I do not want anything to happen between us ever again." Jessica pushed against his chest. "It was not right and had you been a gentleman you would never have allowed it to happen, now please let me go," she cried as she pushed against him once more.

"Perhaps you are right." Affronted, Louis took her by the chin and lifted her face. "Perhaps I am not a gentleman." He paused, the hurt he felt boiled into anger. "Therefore, I have no reason to never allow it, as you call it, to happen again. You belong to me, Jessica. More now than ever before and I shall have you whenever I please." Louis knew the words coming out of his mouth were not what he really wanted to say, but his anger had peaked, it stung him hard that she should put their love making into some sordid category. He forced his lips on hers to prove what he said was true.

Jessica struggled, but his hold on her chin, restricted her movement. She clutched at his face and pinched his skin.

Louis took hold of her wrists and pulled his head back, the pain she had inflicted enraged him.

"Please, Master, let me go," she pleaded. Jessica let her tears roll down her face. She knew it was anger that drove him and her rejection of him, which drove his anger, she did not want to be with him like this, she wanted the gentleness of Fairy Dell. "Louis," she whispered. "Do you really want me like this, will it bring you pleasure to have me, when I do not want you this way?"

Anger left Louis's face to be replaced by a look of sadness. He heard her words; they ran through his mind and through his body, draining him of any madness that had possessed him. "No," he could barely say the word, his throat parched, his voice raspy. He let go of her hands, wiped away her tears with his thumbs, and then cradled her head against his chest. "Please forgive me."

Jessica touched his hair and cradled his head to her. His torment tore at her heart.

"Why don't you want me? I don't understand," he pleaded. "What have I done?"

"I do want you, Louis, but not like this, not as a servant to her master. I can't be your mistress. I just can't. I'm sorry."

Louis stepped back and leant against the rail with his head hung. He didn't seem to notice Jessica leave.

Copyright © 2019 Donna Fieldhouse. All rights reserved.

Oh Louis. One step forward, two steps back :(