On Her Arms

Chapter 5

Charlie

My head spins as I realize what I just did. I said something I'll never be able to take back. When I look up at him, he looks at me and we just stare at each other, not knowing what to do next. The only problem is, that was only half the story. I slowly press my lips to his for a few seconds before I continue.

I roll up the bottom of my leggings. He runs his fingers over the gnarled scar on my leg that has tried its best to blend in with all of the other normal skin. "I have others," I whisper.

He sighs. "I don't need to see the one on your shoulder."

I silently shrug the top of my plaid button-up off my shoulder and down to the top of my elbow. My eyes glanced the opposite way in an attempt to not be embarrassed because this scar is a lot worse than the other one. I don't usually let anyone see it. My black tank top doesn't keep me warm enough. I bite my lip to prevent myself from asking him because I don't want to. Hayes looks up at me and then we're kissing. I can tell he can feel the tension between us, too and his lips beg me not to leave. My lips tell him goodbye. He pushes the plaid shirt all of the way off. Then he takes my hand. He stops. I look away. Orange and red leaves fall from the trees and I can see the shadows of people walking by behind them. A warm hand runs up and down my wrist. I shake my head and bite my lip and try not to scream at him because my arms sting.

When I pull away, I slip my shirt back on and leave it unbuttoned. I can't look at him. "After I got better, I didn't like the feeling. I know. Stupid right? Being perfectly healthy bothered me because I knew that Katelyn would never heal. Her leg would always be gone. My mom would always have that cut across her forehead and a cracked skull. All of my dad's bones will always just be pieces because they were crushed by the car after he was thrown out, but I was lucky enough to be put back together. How lucky was I? All my doctors told me so. They explained how it was a miracle that I didn't pass out or hit my head on the window and cut a main artery. I was the miracle child who had no family. One of the nurses wanted to adopt me, so that's what she did."

"Does she-"

"Debby,." I whisper.

"Does Debby know you..."

I shake my head. "No one."

"Except me," he sighs.

"Except you," I repeat.

"You're just-"

"A mess," I offer.

"So beautiful," he finishes.

I stop talking for a little while as I try to remember what I was going to say. "I moved in a month after she got the papers signed. I know. Usually it takes longer, but she's a very persuasive person, or so I've heard. Her daughter Shay is this huge fan of Cameron Dallas. That's why I was at your show. Debby had forced me."

"That's why your emotions changed so quickly that night."

I nod.

He gets up. "I need to make a phone call. I'll be right back."

I look at him and know it's the last time. We're from two different worlds. We can't be together. Why would he want to be with a girl who cuts anyway? As soon as he walks through the trees, I get up and walk back home. When I pass the basketball court, Alexa's there, but she's with Hailey. Her dark brown hair sits in the grass while she lays down and messes with her phone. "Probably reading fan fiction," I sigh to myself. Alexa misses and comes to get the ball. Once she reaches it, she looks up and our eyes meet. She starts to walk over to me, but I run up the street.

When I get home, Shay's still in her room, even though it's 4:00. I take my blades and I flush them down the toilet. Hayes face convinced me too. I swear he was crying when he looked at my wrists. Anyway, I'll never be healed if I have enough scars and memories.

My phone starts to buzz. I ignore it. It stops and starts again. It goes on like this for about five minutes until I answer, yell "Go away," and end the call. Twenty minutes later, there's a knock on my door. Shay goes downstairs and answers it. I hear the highest pitched scream in history and have to cover my ears. When I walk down the stairs, Shay is clinging onto Hayes and not letting go. I walk back up the steps.

"Charlotte, wait-" Shay doesn't let go and for once, she does something useful. I walk up the stairs and lock my door I crawl into a ball and cover my ears. I'm hiding under my covers by the time he knocks on my door. "Charlotte-"

"Go away, Hayes," I scream from under the thin sheets and my comforter.

"Charlotte, I really think we need to talk." He knocks again.

"Get out of my house, Hayes." I demand.

"Okay, but if I leave, I'll come back tomorrow and the next day and the next day until you decide to talk to me. We don't have to talk about... that. We could just talk, like we did last night. It's a lot easier."

After a moment, "There's something you can pick the lock with at the top of my door frame."

He walks in and I don't leave my bed. My room is fairly clean, hopefully. I feel his weight make the bed lean towards the bottom left corner. "Are you hungry? I brought some food."

I had already smelled it. McDonald's. I peek out from my covers a little. "Depends, what did you get?"

"Fries and a chocolate milkshake."

I raise my eyebrows. "I guess that's negotiable."