On Her Arms

Chapter 8

Hayes

I had dialed her number again and told myself it would be the last time. If she didn't answer, I wouldn't call again and I would just forget about it. I mean, it's not like I expected her to be waiting for me to call. I just hoped she would pick up after the second time her phone rang.

Oh, great. She's mad at me. She is mad at me for leaving and is ignoring me.

"PICK UP YOUR PHONE!" I scream and then I throw mine across the room. It lands in a heap of laundry. I rub my eyes with the bottom of my hands and collapse onto my bed. I sit there and try my best not to scream or cry.

Someone knocks on my door. "Hayes, you need to go to bed! I know the time is messed up and everything, but you need to get used to it." My mom walks away.

I pick up my phone, turn off my lights so she thinks I'm asleep, and mess around with my phone.

#cutting

3,057,841 posts on instagram.

I had no idea how many girls don't like themselves. It's not just Charlotte.

My phone rings. "I had no idea how obsessed you were" she laughs.

"You have no idea" I sigh.

She laughs again. She's not usually this happy. I kinda like it.

"What's up with you?" I ask.

"I just went out to dinner with my family" she says.

I raise my eyebrows. "Just out of curiousity, what are you wearing right now?"

"Stalk much?" she asks.

"I just wanted to be able to picture you in my mind" I explain.

"A black sweater over a blue floral print dress and a beanie."

"Shoes?" I ask.

"None, at the moment."

I wiggle my own toes. I shouldn't have asked what she was wearing because now I can't get her out of my mind. "You look so beautiful" I whisper.

I practically watch her roll her eyes. "You can't even see me."

"Facetime?" I ask.

Five minutes later, I'm looking at her through my laptop screen. "You're prettier than I imagined."

Charlie bites her lip. "I kinda already miss you and you were really the only thing I had been looking forward to everyday and..."

Please don't hurt yourself because of me. Please don't, Charlotte.

"It's just that..."

"Can I see your wrists?" I blurt.

"What?" she asks.

"I just want to see your wrists." I rub my hands together.

"You don't need to see my wrists!" she whispers, but she's really mad at me so it's almost a scream. "Okay? I'm not gonna cut over a guy. That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! I don't just find excuses to make my arms bleed everyday."

"That's not what I meant-"

"That is exactly what you meant."

We don't talk for a long time.

She finally whispers "I flushed my blades the other day."

"You what?" I ask.

"I got rid of my blades. I'm done cutting."

My eyes widen. "You're kidding, right? I mean- that's not what I meant. Ughhh!" I cover my face with my hands.

She laughs a little. "I know what you meant."

"I'm really proud of you" I whisper. Then my plans fall into to place and the best idea in the history of ideas pops into my head.