On Her Arms

Chapter 13

Charlie

Hayes was sick the next day when I woke up. He was sniffling and coughing like crazy and I told him to go see a doctor, but he wouldn't listen. All he wanted to do was stay with me. He got worse and worse as the day went on. 

The day went by in a blur and then before I knew it, I was waking up the next morning. Hayes didn't visit me all day and I started to feel pretty alone. There aren't enough bitchy nurses in the world to keep me busy. 

After a week of not seeing him, I ask Debby where he was and if he had left. She just shakes her head. "I didn't want to tell you, but you deserve to know. Hayes was really sick. They flew him to LA to be with his family about three days ago."

I sigh with relief because she said was sick. That must mean he's not sick anymore. "So when he's going to be back?"

She looks me straight in the eye and says, "He's not coming back. Honey, he died this morning."

At that moment, I scream into my pillow, not wanting to take another breath ever again. This wasn't happening. This is not happening.

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I wake up from her dream in a puddle of sweat. Tears are running down my face. A nurse and a doctor are trying to talk to me, but I couldn't hear them.

It was just a dream.

"Can I just get some air?" she sighs.

They both look at her, then at each other. The doctor speaks. "As long as you take Ally with you."

I nod. Then they unlock me and let me go outside. Ally, the tacky nurse who's painted her face and dyed her hair keeps her distance from me and I silently thank her for that. As I walk down the edge of the parking lot that meets the forest in nothing but a skirt and a sweatshirt they let me change into. I'm not even wearing shoes. I squish the grass between my toes.

"Hey," I sigh.

Hayes' shoes are black and white and the laces are purple. I laugh because they kinda look ridiculous, but I can't take my eyes off of them because if I actually look at him, I know I'll cry. My eyes move up a little and I watch him stuff his hands in his pockets. "How are you?" he asks.

I bite my lip. So this is what we've come to. Why does it have to be so awkward? I finally raise my eyes to meet his. "How have you been?"

He laughs a little. "You answer first."

"Fine."

"Me too."

We sit there for a little bit. I kick a rock across the field. Then I wrap my arms around him. He embraces me like it's all he's wanted to do since he's seen me.  

Then I walk back inside and leave him. I walk past Debby who's talking to a doctor. "A mental hospital?" she sighs. "Is that really necessary?"

He sighs. "It would just be for a little while and I believe she would improve quicker."

"I really don't want to sit in a yellow cushioned prison cell all day, thank you very much. I can assure you I would get much worse if I was doing that all day." When I go back up to my assigned room Ally doesn't strap me down like any other person would've done and I know she's risking her job by not doing it. 

"Are you still on your food strike or can I do my job and bring you something to eat?"

Food sounded good, but I wanted to be complicated. "Got any cake?"

"Yes, but you can't have it until you eat your vegetables."

I roll my eyes. "Fine."