On Her Arms

Chapter 15

Charlie

Hayes' funeral was today. I guess could've gone, but there were a couple things standing in the way. 1. If I walked in, I would probably throw up. 2. It's actually taking place on the opposite side of the country 3. I wasn't invited. 4. I haven't been able to leave since millions of girls now want to murder me.

So now I have more people that hate me.

The funny thing is, I never thought I was going to have to deal with this stuff. I actually though Hayes would have to.

I haven't eaten for three days. The pang in my stomach matches the pain in my heart (I know, lame poetry). My head hasn't left the covers except for when I have to use the bathroom and it didn't again until a visitor walked into my room.

I pulled the thin sheet under my eyes. "Ummm..."

Nash Grier was standing in front of me. He looked genuinely okay considering his brother died only days ago. He looks at the nurse. "Can you give us some privacy?"

She nods. "Of course."

When she leaves his face changes. He looks angry, almost demotic and he slowly takes steps closer to me. "You did this."

I give him a funny look. "What?"

"You killed him."

I was absolutely horrified at what he was saying. "No-"

"You don't get it, do you? You're a selfish bitch that no one should ever consider looking at twice, but my brother's a... was a sucker for girls like you. He actually was kinda idiotic now that I think about it, but you. You made him worse than he ever was and I thought that if he saw what a mess you were, he would just stop caring about you. That's the only reason I told him to go back to you, so he could get over you."

It seemed as if there were a giant lump in my throat and I couldn't breathe. "I didn't kill him!"

"YOU DID AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU MURDERED THE ONLY THING IN THE WORLD I CARED ABOUT."

My head starts to pound. "HE WAS ALL I CARED ABOUT! I WAS TRYING TO KILL MYSELF AND HE SAVED ME. DO YOU  KNOW HOW AWFUL THAT MAKES ME-"

His hands wrap around my throat. I can't breathe. My hands are flailing everywhere since they're not in the hand cuffs and I'm trying to get away from him, but his grip is so strong, that I can't even gag. I can't make any noise. He knocks my head against the back of the bed over and over again. Just before he wins, doctors and nurses rush in and nashes hands are pried from my neck. I sit there sucking in as much air as I can, but none of it satisfies me. A nurse holds my hand and reminds me to breathe and I want to slap her because, how could I forget?

I gag. "I'm fine."

Nash is dragged out of the room and the only person left is the nurse. "I should probably stay with you for a little while-"

"I said I'm fine! Now leave." She quickly walks out of the room. Once she's gone, I get up and walk to the window. You think a hospital would be smart enough to lock them shut or something, but they're not. I'm sure they will be by tomorrow. There's a thin screen and I pop it out with one gentle push. I drop it out the window and watch it fall. The plastic frame breaks in half when it hits the grassy ground beneath the window. I carefully stick my feet out the side and sit on the end. My hands push against the wall of my hospital room so I don't fall, yet.

You killed him.

All I've ever done is screwed things up. I wasn't even worth saving. Hayes wasted his life for it and I know that if I decided to live, I would wake up and remind myself of it everyday. I can't live with myself. It would be better for everyone if I just simply jumped.

The bird lands on the long tree branch that's next to me. It's red and lovelier than I'll ever be. "Well, hello." I whisper. "I hope when I die, I'll get to be a bird, so I can fly everywhere and see everything and never have to be perfect." It simply nodded like it knew exactly what I was saying and what I was about to do. The door in the room behind me flies open. "Charlie, stop!"

But they were too late. I had already pushed off the wall and twisted so I was facing the sky. I was flying through the air and hoping I could become the bird I had just decided I wanted to be. As the top window became farther and farther, the ground got closer and closer. When I hit the ground, I burst into a million pieces that I knew no one would ever be able to put back together and the last thing I saw, was the beautiful bird.