On Her Arms

Chapter 6

Hayes

I watch her drink her milkshake. My eyes don't leave her arms so I don't notice her staring at me. When our eyes meet, I apologize. "Sorry, it's just, never how I pictured you. I mean, you're so beautiful and different."

She hands me the milkshake. "Thanks for the food. Enjoy your tour." Then she dives back under her blanket.

I shake my head. "Did I really just fall for that?" I ask.

"Considering my luck, I'm surprised you did." Her voice only suggests a hint of humor, making the conversation less bearable.

"Talk to me" I whisper.

"I'd rather not"she answers.

I move the food onto the dresser and wrap my arms around her when I lie down. She tenses up. "How about now ?"

Charlie doesn't miss a beat. "Don't you have a vine to make or something?" She rolls over a little so we're not touching anymore.

I start get up. "You're right. Nash wanted to make a video with me before we leave at four so he could edit it on the plane." I turn the doorknob. "See you around, I guess."

Just before I walk out, she whispers "Wait" from under the mass of blankets and if I hadn't been waiting for it, I wouldn't have heard it at all. She crawls out and grins a little. "Did I really just fall for that?" she says.

I laugh a little. "I guess we're both a little gullible today." She runs her fingers through her hair and I see the torn skin on the bottom of her wrists. I push the awful thought to the back of my mind and close the five foot space between us. We both collapse onto the bed and I kiss her.

Okay. It wasn't really just a kiss. To me at least. It was a conversation.

I kissed her jaw.

"Don't leave me."

She let me.

"I won't."

My mouth pressed against hers.

"I never want to go back home."

Her hand was pressed against my chest.

"You shouldn't."

I run my hand down her arm and trace the jagged lines that have altered her skin forever.

"You're beautiful and I'm sorry."

She pulls away.

"No." Charlie actually says this and I don't notice at first so I don't respond right away. Then she gets up.

"Why do you always do this?" I ask. "I mean, things are so perfect. I don't get what you don't understand. Don't you feel the connection between us or am I just making it up? You're so beautiful and strong and I just can't tell what's wrong. It's killing me!"

"That's what's wrong. It's perfect. You tell me I'm beautiful when I know I'm not. I can't be with these." She holds up her arms. "I can't deal with perfect, Hayes. I don't deserve perfect." Tears well up in her eyes and all I want to do is wrap my arms around her until she runs out of tears and stops crying, but I know there's no point since she'll never agree with me. Am I trying to hard? Is she worth it?

Of course she is, you idiot!

I make sure I don't talk too loud. Otherwise, she'll just get angry. I take a few steps towards her. She's wrapped up in blankets and looking at her bedpost. At least she's sitting up. "Then we don't have to be perfect. No one's perfect. We can just be... us."

I wait for her smart ass comment on how that's not possible, but it never comes. Instead, she stands up and wraps her arms around me. "Thank you" she says into my shoulder and I can't help it when I smile a little. This is so much better than arguing, I think. "Call me when you land, okay?"

And just like that, the moment is over and I'm forced to face facts and accept the our relationship will never last.