On Her Arms

Chapter 14

Charile

        It comes in waves. That's what I had told Hayes and it was true. I mean, it was always there, but I would just block it out for a little while and then it would overcome me for minutes, hours, or days and then I would be fine for a bit. The only problem is, the feeling of being worthless, hadn't existed for a few days. After crying in the hospital that night, I had felt fine. It's like I wasn't even depressed. It was all just a memory. I had actually tricked myself into thinking that I was getting better.

        But I wasn't. I was getting worst.

        As I was eating my white cake with chocolate icing on my hospital bed, I thought about how Katelyn would love this cake and that I needed to find her so she could try it. Then I remembered.

        She's dead.

        I should be dead.

        The words repeated over and over in my head and they wouldn't go away. Then I saw the bird outside. It was blue and beautiful and I knew it didn't even have a name, but it was more important than me.

        Without even knowing what I was doing, I got up and walked out of my room. I walked down the hall and into the elevator. Nobody seemed to notice. When I made it outside, I got goosebumps when the thick wall of cold hit me. Then I walked to the back road that nobody drives on and sat in the middle of it.

        I've been here for the past twenty minuts, thinking about the last couple hours of my life. My arms are numb my lips are trembling.

        "Charlie!"

        I don't turn, but I know who it is.

        "Charile!"

        I turn around and see him running towards me. When I stand up, I finally hear it- the low rumbling of an engine coming towards me. When I turn, there's a giant truck coming towards me. I turn to face it.

        "Charlie! Get away from there!"

        "Don't, Hayes!"

        "Listen to me!" He sounds out of breath. "You're worth it

        "I've never been worth it."

Hayes

I don't remember thinking it through. I'm sure I didn't. All I remember is my feet leaving the pavement and me diving towards Charlie. I thought I could live through it. In my head, I had pictured me wrapping my arms around her and then doing this cool roll thing to get out of the way, and then we would kiss and we just sit there for all eternity wrapped in each other's arms. That's not what happened though.

In mid air, Charlie was looking at me and I was looking at her. Everything was in slow motion. She was crying and she looked so scared and helpless and I can't even imagine what I looked like because what I was feeling was insane. My hands akwardly pushed against her shoulders and fell. I don't know if she even got far enough away from the truck to avoid being hit. I just remember the pain I felt in my ribs. My body was spinning as it was flying through the air and I couldn't see anything. Then my I hit the ground and the most excruciating pain spread all through out my body, but I knew it was better than the pain I would've felt over losing her.

Charlie

I crawled up into a ball on the grass next to the road. I didn't dare look. I just sat there and waited for someone to come find us. Tears filled my eyes and I was shaking.

Eventually, I heard people. A nurse tried to pull me up, so we could go inside, but it was no use. She eventually just laid a jacket over me. I eventually figured out that Hayes saved me because he thought I was worth it. He cared about me more than himself.

I just didn't know what to think about that.